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View Diary: To My Dad & Sorry for my Rant (123 comments)

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  •  In the Chinese acupuncture system (2+ / 0-)
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    magicsister, peregrine kate

    the colon is associated with the metal element (they use a mnemonic of elements to help them remember what each meridian does.) And metal is about the father. It is about values. It is about cutting things off (like relationships). It is also about letting things go (as in housework when you no longer can do everything for yourself.) Fathers are not about nurturing (at least in our stereotyping) but should be about protecting. And there is a spiritual part about the metal element (again our current religions have a strong masculine stereotyping.)

    This is not to say that your father had anything to do with your cancer, but more to say that you are doing absolutely right to protect and nurture yourself and allow yourself to heal. And to encourage you to value yourself. You are not a throwaway. You are courageous and strong. Find that spirit within. Value all parts of yourself, even the disease, and the strong chemicals to battle the disease, and know there are people who have done this same battle. You are never really alone.

    Your father may be reflecting his distress and his feeling of  helplessness in the face of all the things that are afflicting you by reverting to the standard memes of blaming the victim. He may not be able to even know what he is doing or why he is doing it. This may be how HE is coping. My daughter would say "take it in the manner in which it SHOULD have been spoken." In other words, assume that his diatribe is really saying "I don't want to see these things happen to you and I don't know how to say things that are supportive but I want to feel a connection with you and so I say these things not meaning to be mean but meaning to express badly how much I care and how worried I am. But I know that whatever I do I don't want to acknowledge how scared I am for me and for you."

    American Television is a vast sea of stupid. -xxdr zombiexx

    by glitterscale on Thu Nov 29, 2012 at 07:25:39 AM PST

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