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  •  ((Mortifyd)) (2+ / 0-)
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    Joy of Fishes, Mortifyd

    No, not at all what we're doing. That doesn't mean her father and brother won't turn overprotective when she hits her teen years however. Just that it will be more moderated by everything else.. and me.

    I'm sorry you went through all that BS. And I agree, you shouldn't put up with it now either. Be yourself. That's always the best move in my book.
    As for the dances, I didn't have dates either at least not until my Jr. year. But I would have liked to have had the opportunity to go to a few of them, when my friends went stag as well. I was the oldest of three girls with a wood furnace and a garden and 2 acres of land that needed tending. My dad is an alcoholic. Unless he wanted to do all that yard work himself he couldn't force me to be too girly. I was often my father's 'only son' at least in the chores department. My sisters stayed inside and helped my mom with the housework. At least until I graduated and moved out.

    "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

    by FloridaSNMOM on Thu Nov 29, 2012 at 03:06:39 PM PST

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    •  I was confused by all the "dating" crap (1+ / 0-)
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      FloridaSNMOM

      though I had friend boys who would occasionally serve as "dates" when required - I did go to prom for example.  But I was never allowed to go anywhere alone after bleeding struck, despite looking male myself.  

      My bestie was 6'4" and as much a dork as I was - he neither groped nor fondled - my father mostly believed he was ok.  So I had a male chaperone anytime I left the house other than school.  Because OMG vagina.

      We lived in army housing a lot - no yards to mow or in some places soldiers did it for us - Ft Leavenworth military prisoners mowed the lawns.  And rapists and murderers bagged at the commisary.

      My dad is also an alcoholic and I will never watch The Great Santini ever again.  He would drag me out of bed at 3 am to watch it with him.  I also know far more about Viet Nam than anyone my age has any right to unless they are Vietnamese.  How this squared with his purity protection freakout I have no idea.  But there it is.  We are just a mess as far as mixed messages go.

      And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

      by Mortifyd on Thu Nov 29, 2012 at 05:10:02 PM PST

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      •  I won't watch (1+ / 0-)
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        Mortifyd

        Westerns or War movies for similar reasons. My dad never went over seas in Nam, he was in the Air Force but state side repairing planes to send back over.  

        He was reserves by the time I was 4, and out completely by the time I was 9.  But he was still an alcoholic, controlling and abusive. Just in different ways than your parents. My mom is a recovering alcoholic, but she fell off the wagon sometimes, and I was always the confidant. After my youngest sister was born her ovaries went FUBAR and she started going through menopause every other month. When I was 20 she had a hysterectomy and was put on hormones which made things a lot better. Before that though, from the time I was 12 until I left at graduation she was unstable, kind of like Bi-polar. She would destroy the house and blame it on us. She threw a cereal box at my sister and sliced her head open and tried to blame that on me. I remember once she got stuck in the snow, and took her shoes off and ran through 4 foot snow drifts in her stockings a quarter mile home, leaving me and my sisters in the car.

        As an adult my mom and I have had issues. I haven't talked to my dad in about 6 years. I've had to move back in with them twice. It never lasted long. The hard part is keeping in your mind that you are an adult now. There has to be some consensus on some things but you don't have to be under their thumb. You have to stand up for your rights as an adult.

        "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

        by FloridaSNMOM on Thu Nov 29, 2012 at 05:32:18 PM PST

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