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View Diary: Need ADHD-1 Advice for my Son (122 comments)

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  •  CatM you're always a help (6+ / 0-)

    I've enjoyed reading your entries about navigating the system and what it's like to have ADHD or Aspberger's or...something on the autism spectrum because as you may remember, I have a kiddo like that too.

    We never got a diagnosis of dysgraphia; my son was tagged with ADHD and sensory processing dysfunction, although the dysgraphia description fits him to a T.

    To the quixotic, my son is now 18 and graduated HS in May.  I don't have a lot of advice for you because our path was so different.  His difficulties showed up when he was four and he was in the system the entire way with an IEP and I chose to keep him in public schools, because any move to a private school with his IEP would still put us into the hands of the public school system to provide services.

    What I take away from CatM's posts is that I've had to somewhat lower expectations.  My kiddo is not going to be one of those who packed off to college in the fall; he's probably on a slower track.  He is schooled out, so he's going to get a job.  He's 18 and still not driving because I couldn't see how he could learn to drive when he can't tell left from right and some days can't even get his shoes on the correct feet.  We plan to attempt it though.

    I also feel like he's not done learning.  He only just got up to reading at grade level in the tenth grade.  He never learned to write cursive -- because his motor function was poor -- but he can read it, and he told me he'd like to learn how to write it now.  He wants to go to college and if anything, in the right college environment, these folks LOVE college.  And in some instances, from what I understand, a college professor can be way more accommodating than a high school teacher is.

    I, too, question just how much or how little Ben learned while in school.  I don't know if he was taught some of the stuff and he just didn't retain it, or it's in there somewhere or what.  It seems like there are times when it's in that brain of his.  I wish I could be more help.  I hope I've been encouraging.

    •  it is encouraging (6+ / 0-)

      sometimes it's just nice to know you're not the only one.  and also not to be so hard on yourself.  maybe that's all i need to know.

      there is a middle college program here that i have asked my son to look at.  perhaps, if as you said, they do better in a college setting, this could help.

      it's a program by the public schools esp for kids who are bright but do not do well in the traditional classroom.  that does describe my son.

      but they do look for independence, and for a child that struggles with executive functioning, independence does not stand out to me as a strength.  what i did consider was that we could afford to supplement the program with tutoring and 1:1 attention, with the tuition savings since its a public school.

      but that would make his 4th school in 6 years.  that makes me feel terrible about  myself.

      i had never considered that a child could have focus issues so severe that driving would be an issue.  my son got his learner's permit a few weeks ago and is doing a very responsible job of driving (with me in the car of course) so far....

      i can see despite my frustration, we have a lot to be thankful for.

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