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View Diary: Need ADHD-1 Advice for my Son (122 comments)

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  •  well to be honest, that's what we found (3+ / 0-)
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    gramofsam1, FloridaSNMOM, weck

    and it does translate into a wonderful education, but not on paper.  he's surrounded by teachers who are passionate about social justice.  he is surrounded by faculty who cherish him just as he is.

    he has a curriculum that caters to his musical interests....

    it's all of those things.

    but he can't pass his classes.  we pay for extra tutoring for some of his classes but not all.  we've asked for support in study hall, but he doesn't get it.

    we're out of extra money to spend and he will most likely need summer school for math and could potentially fail another class as well.

    how important is it that he makes good grades if he is spiritually and intellectually nurtured?  that is the question i'm battling right now.

    •  That is a tough question- (4+ / 0-)

      and it sounds like the school, for all of their virtues, is not doing enough to help.  Why isn't he getting the study hall support you've asked for?  Does the school have a system online where they post daily and long-term assignments that can be viewed by both students and parents, and if not, why not?  You might have to get on their case a bit. Or a lot.

      As for the weighing of the value of learning vs. grades- if he can get good enough grades to make it to graduation (which the school should help him with), and if he's learning, that's not a bad outcome.  But I know none of this is easy, and I hope things improve for all of you.

      •  they do have an online system (3+ / 0-)

        but as he and i discussed this evening, apparently it's "glitchy" and the teachers struggle with it from a technical support perspective.  so it's not as reliable as it needs to be.

        it also, from an end-user perspective, often does not have enough description on the assignments--particularly the long term ones.

        of course, let's be fair--the assignments they enter are almost often more detailed than what my son writes down for himself.  but it could be better.

        as for why no help in study hall?  i don't know. i'm certain to get around to asking, but i try to pace myself. it's hard to be that parent who is constantly harrassing the teachers and administration.  they already dread me enough.  

        •  Oh boy do I know that feeling- (3+ / 0-)

          it is a balancing act, but the one thing I've learned is that the squeaky wheel really does get the oil. I just made peace with being a pain in the ass, but I do try to be a relatively pleasant pain in the ass.

          It does make it a bit easier if you set up a meeting and discuss all of your major concerns at once.  I used to try one thing at a time, but I think they hate that more.  And make it clear that you're taking notes and expect answers- if not at the meeting, then soon after. Suggest that they follow up with email responses so that you have documentation.

          Remember that you're a consumer, and they want your tuition money. I'm sure they want to help your son too, but don't forget that you have power in this situation.  And good luck.

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