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View Diary: Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! (289 comments)

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  •  Places to go, things to do. (34+ / 0-)

    CHEERS to cloudy days. I had the cameras by the door and was looking forward to a day of Manhattan Christmas photos but the sun was not good enough. So I stayed in, lots of coffee, salami and eggs, the New York Times, NPR in the backgroiund and plenty of relaxing.  

    I then decided to clean up the music on my phone and went looking for someway to do this. Gizmo's Freeware reviews and ratings was a good place to start. Tag Scanner was a good first stop. There I not only corrected artist and song. I also added album art and lyrics.

    Then I read the Wiki page on every song I improved. That was the best part. Did you know that the Temptations were originally called the Primes and they became so popular in Detriot  that the group manager Milton Jenkins created a sister group for the Primes called the Primettes? The Primettes later became the legendary Supremes!

    Then, after finishing a really good book where the entire universe got into really deep hock to the American music industry, I started thinking about the $150,000 fine multiplied by 300 songs.

    Aliens suck at music. And it’s not for a lack of trying. They’ve been at it for eons, but have yet to produce even a faintly decent tune. If they had, we’d have detected them ages ago. We’ve been scanning the skies for signs of intelligent life for generations, after all. And we’ve actually picked up thousands of alien anthems, slow dances, and ballads. But the music’s so awful that it’s always mistaken for the death rattle of a distant star. It’s seriously that bad.

    Or more accurately — we’re that good. In fact, humanity creates the universe’s best music, by far. We owe this to a freakish set of lucky breaks. For instance, the combined gravitational pulls of the various bodies in our solar system tug the fluids of our inner ears in juuuuust the right way to give us an exquisite sense of rhythm. Certain deeply bewitching tonal patterns are meanwhile wired right into our brain stems, because they map to the sounds that our distant ancestors’ ancient prey once made. These two, and several other long-shot rarities combine to give us musical superpowers that no other civilization can match.

    The irony is that in every other artistic form that matters to the rest of the cosmos, we’re the dullards. In sculpture, fashion, and synchronized swimming, we rank in the bottom percentile, universe-wide. Découpage and pyrotechnics aren’t even considered to be high expressive forms here, grotesquely stunting our development in those fields. And while we did manage to get off to a decent start in stained glass, we lost all interest in it just a century before LEDs and nanopigments would have taken it to radical new levels.

    Meanwhile, the plays, dramatic series, and films that we make are in the “so bad, it’s good” category, with our crowning achievements providing ironic late-night amusement to smirking hipsters on countless planets.

    I just can't afford that, powerball could not have paid the fine on my Galaxy SIII.  So I decided to rip the songs from my own CD's. Still illegal in the good old U.S. of A. but I can plead mitigating circumstances. That's when I found Fairstars CD Ripper and got ripping.

    This converted my android music library to mostly 320kb home made mp3's that sound really good and lowered my Napster uploads to around twenty. Seeing how 20 times $150,000 is a much more affordable three million bucks, I'm feeling much better about the fine.

    But then I did a bad thing I found MP3 Chief when I decided I must buy "Your Beautiful" by James Blunt to make my collection complete.

    I'll probably burn in hell for that freebie. Since I decided to steer clear of music piracy for the 21th Century, does anyone know James Blunt’s address so I can send him the ninety-nine cents?

    I’m a little worried about the $150,000 for that 99 cent song.

    Really big CHEERS to do nothing days.

    CHEERS to Bill. This is how I feel about you Bill.

    Have a great weekend.

    Oh and CHEERS to this slideshow, the 2012 National Geographic Photography Contest: Striking images from around the world.

    •  Eddie C, you are CRAZYGood (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      mjbleo, mapamp, diggerspop, Eddie C

      at all of the arts that we need here, in PooHLville. Put us all together here at C&J, and we could just buy out the NEA. BOOM! One less gov't agency. And what we say is good, really is the best

      "On a normal dog day, I can sit still for hours on end with no effort." enzo, The Art of Racing in the Rain

      by rebereads on Fri Nov 30, 2012 at 06:32:37 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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