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View Diary: Clergy Sexual Abuse Survivor Seeking Thoughts (34 comments)

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  •  First, take the money. (2+ / 0-)
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    2thanks, Catte Nappe

    I'm a survivor of an abusive controller spouse -- not a lawyer.   But taking the cash does several things.  Keep any copies if you have them of earlier payments.  Copy this check and any "agreement" you sign.

    This verifies forever that they acknowledge the crimes. Keep these documents safe in case you need them in the future.

    On the tax issue -- ask tomorrow's lawyer an opinion on whether the cutting etc. physical damage you did to yourself/others --- takes it out of the emotional only category?  Since these behaviors are result of the physical assault -- why would it not be like other crimes where one person does a misdemeanor which leads to a felony done by someone else, yet the misdemeanant is also thereby guilty of the felony? I think it may be worded like --- the one act is direct & proximate cause  of the second act?  

    Other folks have signed non-disclosure agreements.  These can later be found void because they are using their unequal power to force you to agree  --- and contracts are only valid when both parties are negotiating on an equal basis - which you obviously are not.   Asking for silence is blackmailing you.  Some rights you can't sign away.  

    Living well is the best revenge.  I got this advice from my best friend/partner for a decade who was scarred by priests and then by parents refusing to believe it --- long decades before this trend became public.  Then one morning I realized I was content -- and he'd been right.     It was after struggling with desires for revenge etc. until I realized I couldn't get it without becoming someone I didn't want to be.   That would give my abuser continued power over me.

    The bad guys do it before they met you, and after you got away.  None of it is in any way your fault. Throw away any victim guilt if you harbor any.   Abusers are attracted by your best qualities  and manipulate those to hide their crimes.  

    Helping others escape similar abuse helped me heal.  I presume that specific might not be available to you other than getting laws changed.    

    I wish you smiles for the rest of your life.  

    De fund + de bunk = de EXIT--->>>>>

    by Neon Mama on Mon Dec 03, 2012 at 09:51:29 AM PST

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