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View Diary: Monday Night Cancer Club: Heather's Haircut Auction Competition (115 comments)

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  •  Yup, (9+ / 0-)

    when were told Mom might have two months, or three months, or six months, I looked at the calendar and thought about which day she would choose, because she was a lady of ceremony. December 16th was the eight anniversary of Dad's death, so I was sure that was going to be the day, but her beloved granddaughter couldn't get there, with the great granddaughters she had never met, until the next day. She couldn't speak, but she was still responding when Anna arrived with the girls. They had some time with her alone, then Anna did, then the other grandmother took charge of the girls and six of us sat in a circle around her bed and sang to her, slow and peaceful for two hours, telling her we were going to be okay, and that he work was done, all she had to do was take Dad's hand. The nurse came in and wanted to turn her, so we went out to the hall. Within a minute the nurse was telling us to get in the room again. She went to be with Dad, exactly as she wanted.

    Torture is ALWAYS wrong, no matter who is inflicting it on whom.

    by Chacounne on Mon Dec 03, 2012 at 06:54:17 PM PST

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    •  How beautiful, Heather. How truly beautiful. (7+ / 0-)

      Thank you for sharing that intimate memory of passage.

      Yes, I would completely agree with you about her active choice in this way. And I'm very glad she was able to hang on as she wanted.

      {{{{{{{Nancy and her family}}}}}}}

      Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

      by peregrine kate on Mon Dec 03, 2012 at 07:00:19 PM PST

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      •  (((((((((((((((((((Kate))))))))))))))))))))))))))) (7+ / 0-)

        You have a VERY good memory, dear friend :)

        I think one of the sad parts, and most problematic in my opinion, of modern Western society is that we don't talk about times like those. It makes it more scary and taboo.

        One of Mom's most amazing qualities was her emotional strength. We all believed she was ten feet tall and bullet proof.

        Torture is ALWAYS wrong, no matter who is inflicting it on whom.

        by Chacounne on Mon Dec 03, 2012 at 07:13:32 PM PST

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        •  I try, when it matters. ♥ (7+ / 0-)

          I agree, I wish we were more open about the whole experience of dying. We're all going to do it eventually.

          I was present when my FIL died, almost twenty years ago already. It was an amazing experience, which I hesitate to say because it's inadequate, for one, and also subject to serious misunderstanding. I think it was easier for me, perhaps, because he wasn't my own father, but that's another complicated story.

          I've only been at the births for my own two children, so I don't have much to draw upon, but I do sympathize with people who observe that the transitions at each end of life can have much in common. The heightened energy in the room for each kind of event is probably only the beginning of the connections.

          Some DKos series & groups worth your while: Black Kos, Native American Netroots, KosAbility, Monday Night Cancer Club. If you'd like to join the Motor City Kossacks, send me a Kosmail.

          by peregrine kate on Mon Dec 03, 2012 at 07:22:51 PM PST

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