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View Diary: But You Don't Understand, You Don't Smoke - Update (394 comments)

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  •  Tips for getting the smoke out of my lungs (216+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    detroitmechworks, PatriciaVa, slapshoe, maybeeso in michigan, davespicer, zensoapbox, vcmvo2, Manny, txcatlin, snoopydawg, tardis10, wilderness voice, jan4insight, misterwade, gnbhull, FG, rubyclaire, mofembot, radarlady, Thinking Fella, gramofsam1, TiaRachel, stevemb, StateOfGrace, bluedust, JBL55, el dorado gal, Kevskos, mn humanist, flumptytail, mamamorgaine, BlueMississippi, Lorikeet, maryabein, stlsophos, ljb, Timaeus, blackjackal, greenomanic, tofumagoo, Angie in WA State, annetteboardman, TokenLiberal, Wee Mama, Dingodude, ladybug53, splashy, Lily O Lady, hazzcon, annrose, Miggles, uciguy30, gof, puzzled, sound of progress, anodnhajo, zerelda, Oaktown Girl, mgoodm, LeftArmed, 4Freedom, Molly Weasley, Vatexia, enufisenuf, SherwoodB, 2thanks, ChicDemago, wader, billstewart, entrelac, offred, OleHippieChick, FloridaSNMOM, psnyder, hopesprings, sawgrass727, Cali Scribe, coquiero, chimene, slowbutsure, bfitzinAR, badscience, vtjim, smrichmond, Edward Adams, lineatus, emidesu, gizmo59, BlueOak, tin woodswoman, dwahzon, teresahill, white blitz, indubitably, jolux, Sharoney, Shadow Catcher, 88kathy, doingbusinessas, BeninSC, Marihilda, Kaina PDX, Andrew F Cockburn, tripodisblack, ColoTim, Shockwave, highacidity, Dobber, Melanie in IA, dinazina, ATFILLINOIS, VA Breeze, BlackSheep1, rat racer, Laurel in CA, Chaddiwicker, Nebraskablue, Late Spring, randallt, blukat, bluesheep, NogodsnomastersMary, glorificus, dewley notid, Chi, alrdouglas, Contra, skyounkin, mariva, klompendanser, citisven, Mistral Wind, JerryNA, Flying Goat, jazzence, Wolf Of Aquarius, rodentrancher, alpaca farmer, BYw, GDbot, Jim Domenico, dRefractor, quill, cocinero, lady sisyphus, bgblcklab1, Son of a Cat, TexasLefty, citizenx, Uncommitted, mmgth, HeyMikey, edsbrooklyn, Nimbus, noemie maxwell, Colorado is the Shiznit, roonie, gchaucer2, Heart of the Rockies, salustra, CJB, mythatsme, catwho, roses, BusyinCA, middleagedhousewife, FindingMyVoice, barbwires, alice kleeman, onanyes, Pluto, CA coastsider, DianeNYS, newfie, Nowhere Man, murasaki, jgumby, Pandora, lynneinfla, Aaa T Tudeattack, WiseFerret, fhcec, Larsstephens, emeraldmaiden, Clytemnestra, flitedocnm, AreDeutz, Belle Ame, Bluesee, matrix, Terri, Creosote, tomephil, shortgirl, kamarvt, kdub, JamieG from Md, Ironic Chef, phoebesdatter, JayC, dickensgirl, xyz, Nag, jazzizbest, WoodlandsPerson, Liberal Thinking, redlum jak, karmsy, Sue Hagmeier, Dianora, Common Sense Mainer, elginblt, bunsk, chantedor, j b norton, Joy of Fishes

    Thank you all for letting me express what I need to say during my MIL's illness. I can write here what it is best not to say for family peace.

    I wrote what I think, but what I said, to my in laws was different. When they said, "You don't understand, you don't smoke", I replied, "I understand better than you think. You need to stop smoking. Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids. Do it out of respect for your mother. I don't care what you use to stop smoking. Just stop smoking around me and this house."

    If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never has and never will be. Thomas Jefferson

    by JDWolverton on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 09:11:45 AM PST

    •  My father quit, my brother quit, my bf quit (18+ / 0-)

      all chain smokers, who just upped and quit and stayed off the stuff -- for decades. It's possible to do.

      I smoked occasionally many decades ago, never got the habit, I guess.

      But my father stayed off tobacco even though my stepmother chain smoked 'till her dying day (well, until she was put on the respirator.)

      Hope my longevity hasn't been affected by those who smoked around me, including in public places, until that was banned.

      •  Some people can say, "No more." and do it without (14+ / 0-)

        a problem.

        Most can't.

        "I believe more women should carry guns. I believe armed women will make the world a better place. Women need to come to think of themselves not as victims but as dangerous." Anna Pigeon

        by glorificus on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 04:18:01 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  When my brother quit so did his partner (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          JDWolverton, Creosote, indubitably

          So, it's apparently possible for several others not in my gene pool.  

          They all just quit cold turkey, too.

          Not saying everybody can or should do it that way, but I've seen it done.

          For the last 30 years of her life my stepmother suffered from severe sinus infections, but could never admit the smoking might have caused it.

      •  My Mom's whole family smoked (10+ / 0-)

        every one of them since they were young.  With lots of family pressure from me and my siblings and my stepfather, my Mom finally quit at age 56.

        Her older sister and her younger sister died of lung cancer, one in her late 70's, one in her early 70's.  My Mom just celebrated her 95th birthday, suffering from mild COPD after the years of abuse, but still not on oxygen and still able to live alone, drive, and generally take care of herself AND all of her elderly neighbors whom she drives to their various doctor appointments and the grocery store.

        My father died at 51 of heart disease after smoking 2 packs a day until his 4th heart attack (he eventually had 9.)  My MIL died at 61 and my FIL at 59, both from smoking related arterial constrictions.  

        Nasty, nasty habit -- luckily with the example of my Dad dying when I was age 12, I never started.

        When my 14 year old daughter was going through rehab (from self medicating for bipolar disorder) the rehab center thought I was mean to not allow her to smoke -- they saw it as a less dangerous crutch to allow addicts to get off their drug of choice.  I refused to allow it because I didn't want to have the residue in my house because of my asthma (another affect of my parents smoking) and because I was hopeful it would keep my daughter from developing the smoking addiction too.    My daughter, now 20, clean and sober for 6 years, and a NON smoker, says she is grateful to my husband and me every day for insisting she not smoke or hang around smokers.

        The GOP -- Hating Women, Gays and People of Color since 1854

        by Former Chicagoan Now Angeleno on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 06:37:28 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  you don't understand, you're not an addict (39+ / 0-)

      is a better way of putting it.

      I'm not excusing addictive behavior, I'm just pointing out that it is harder than just making a decision to stop.  If it were, there would be many fewer addicts.  So many know they need to stop smoking for themselves and their kids and out of respect for their mothers and for the sake of family peace but their brains and bodies are telling them something else.

      Stopping an addictive behavior like smoking is as hard as holding your breath for two minutes when you are not trained to do so.  Your mind and body get to a point where they cannot think about anything else other than air air air air air I need air and no matter what you try to do with your mind in order to keep holding your breath, eventually the body always wins and demands what it needs.

      you think it's rational.  you think it's about willpower.  you don't understand.  you are not an addict.  

      "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
      Four More Years! How sweet it is!!!

      by TrueBlueMajority on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 03:47:32 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  thank you for this (20+ / 0-)

        Working on my 10th (count it 10th) attempt to quit. 25 years now. No one would ever say those things about heroin, or even crack, but they do with smoking. I do not smoke inside, haven't for years, nor in my car, nor anywhere near people if possible.

        However, thinking this this is easy to quit and I want this monkey on my back or something, well frankly hurts. I am an addict, not am idiot and not a monster.

        Most people say that what some people say is pretty stupid.

        by nullspace on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 04:47:28 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  Thank you, thank you. (16+ / 0-)

        After 38 years and ceiling cat knows how many attempts to quit, I have been smoke free for 6 months.  I can only do it by staying on Chantix.  You're supposed to use it for three months.  My psychiatrist tells me I can stay on it for life if that's what it takes.  Chantix makes me sick as a dog.  I walk around needing to vomit about 75% of my life.  I can only not smoke by learning how to do life in a constant state of nausea.  It does not get better over time.  It's what I have to do.

        Cats are better than therapy, and I'm a therapist.

        by Smoh on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 04:55:11 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Smoh (11+ / 0-)

          If you continue to have severe nausea and decide to look for a different method, ask your doctor about ecigs. While they are still nicotine, unlike cigs, they dont have the tars and toxins in regular cigs. Also, they are not currently expensive and behave like a real cig as you inhale vapor produced by a nicotine liquid in a cartridge vaporized by a battery. I quit for quite a while on ecigs for the first time since I started smoking (10 years old to 28 years old) after many attempts with medication and other nicotine replacement methods. I am getting geared up to try again soon.

          •  Thank you. (5+ / 0-)

            Cats are better than therapy, and I'm a therapist.

            by Smoh on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 05:20:46 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  Don't get the (0+ / 0-)

              ecigs that look like cigarettes. They don't work and you can't use them as easily in public places. Most ecigs look like a pen. I use ECHO and EGO ecigs.

              They feel like smoking, the nicotine levels can be adjusted so you can taper down, and you can use them anywhere if you're stealthy.

              I use my ecig on airplanes, stadiums, restaurants...even in hospitals. Hospital staff was fine with my sister using hers when she was a patient. I am stealthy in public because anti-smoking zealots would object even though there isn't any smoke and the vapor is harmless (See study done by Clarkson University)

          •  I've tried ecigs (7+ / 0-)

            I know they work for a lot of people.  Unfortunately they didn't work for me - nor did the patches or gum.

            A doctor explained to me that for many people, smoking addiction is based on much more than nicotine addiction - there are other chemicals in burning tobacco that act as anti-depressants, help in concentration, lift your mood etc., that effect some people more strongly than others and can also be very addictive.

            Which tends to explain why some people can quit so easily, while other people, especially those prone to depression, find it next to impossible.

            It also explains why just replacing cigarettes with nicotine won't work in those cases.

            But that's why we need to keep trying everything - we never know what will work for us.

            I'm really, really hoping they do something to Chantix to fix the side effects, because it's the only thing that has worked so far.

            •  Same Here (3+ / 0-)

              Then I discovered that cig-look-alike ecigs suck, moved to a larger (and more powerful) model (the Volt X2 and Vision Spinner in combination, mostly the Volt these days) and rode out the worst of the "other crud" in cigarettes with WTA (Whole Tobacco Alkaloids).

              I've just reached 3 months and barely use the WTAs any longer.  I'm down to the regular very cheap stuff and usually carrying around a Volt.  I don't much need the extra kick of the Spinner any longer.

              And I've saved over $1,000 already.

              (-6.25, -6.77) Moderate left, moderate libertarian

              by Lonely Liberal in PA on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 09:21:00 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  Yup, all ecigs are NOT equal (0+ / 0-)

                I was consuming from a pack and a half to two packs a day when, after trying e-cigs a second time, I flat quit smoking.

                I don't know how common my experience is, but when I tried ecigs a second time (the first time being just prior to the FDA's abortive ban, was with some piece of absolute rubbish that I'd I picked up at an area tobacconist) I had no thought whatsoever of quitting. Rather, I purchased the product partially for whatever novelty/conversation value it might provide at my job, and partly in the hope that, by acting as a sort of stop-gap or diversion, its use might help me cut down on my ridiculously frequent trips to the outdoor smoke-shack at work.

                Alito. Kennedy. Roberts. Scalia. Thomas. More important than ever: ERA NOW!

                by greeseyparrot on Thu Dec 06, 2012 at 08:02:42 AM PST

                [ Parent ]

              •  I agree, the smaller ecigs (0+ / 0-)

                are a waste of time.

                Ecigs have been great for me. Feels like smoking.

            •  When the Chantix fails (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Buckeye Nut Schell

              Try a better quality e-cig and better quality e-juice - one with WTAs.

              I wouldn't wish Chantix on my worst enemy.

              Bipartisanship: I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass

              by Uranus Hz on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 10:36:02 AM PST

              [ Parent ]

            •  Try smoking American Spirits (0+ / 0-)

              They are pure tobacco - no chemicals, no additives.  They also have an organic line.

              I gave up Marlboros for these about five years ago, and now I can't stomach anything else.  You find you can actually taste the chemicals.  I will go without before smoking anything else.

              The benefit to smoking these are that they are less addictive.  You will find yourself needing to smoke less because they are more satisfying.  Your cravings should decrease...

              While I've never been super addicted; I go through phases where I won't smoke at all, or just with cocktails or after dinner. (however, twenty years ago I was a pack a day) But I have known heavily addicted smokers, like my mother, who after smoking American Spirits found it much easier to taper off and eventually quit.

              An added bonus is that it is an excellent, family-owned company.  They send me birthday and Christmas cards every year, with pictures of their employees and their facility.

              "Mediocrity cannot know excellence." -- Sherlock Holmes

              by La Gitane on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 11:16:43 AM PST

              [ Parent ]

          •  SMOH (13+ / 0-)

            I totally agree with AEG above - Chantix is nothing to fool around with if you are have side effects.

            I did Chantix for 7 weeks.  I threw up constantly.  I had every single bad side effect you can have, including violent mood swings, suicidal ideation and attempted suicide.   (It was a damned good attempt too - I stepped out in front of a commuter train going 70 mph).

            None of these effects appeared immediately or in any particular order, but the nausea was the first to hit.

            Please, please, ask your doctor to let you change your dosage, or try another method.  

            Chantix works, don't get me wrong - I've been smoke-free for over 3 years.  But this may be a case of the cure being worse than the disease.

            Don't practice. Train.--Brian Harvey

            by luvsathoroughbred on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 06:18:19 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

        •  I'm the same (5+ / 0-)

          I only ever managed to quit on Chantix, and the nausea was non-stop.

          But the depression was even worse.  This was before they put the black-box warning on it, and my doctor didn't believe the side effects could be so severe.  He said it was from quitting smoking.

          I said I know what the side effects of quitting smoking are - I've tried it enough times.  Being irritable, chewing people out, being testy - yes, those are side effects of quitting smoking.

          Standing on the checkout line at the supermarket and bursting into tears for no good reason is not.  Sitting and staring for hours like a zombie with no desire to move or feel anything but a heavy, wet grayness is not.

          And it did not get better over time either.  And anti-depressents, when I finally got them, didn't help either.  Nor did any of the anti-nausea medication.

          I consciously decided to go off the Chantix and start smoking again.  Because if that is what life is going to be without smoking, I'd rather live a shorter life.

        •  that's so difficult... (3+ / 0-)

          I quit using Chantix after multiple attempts to quit that didn't work.  For me, Chantix only made me nauseous if I hadn't had food with it.  For me, it was miraculous - 4 years and one month later, I've been completely smoke free, and even a month after quitting could sit on a beach with my eldest daughter sitting next to me smoking and not have even a serious craving, much less an outright temptation.  No idea why it was so easy this time after being so impossible others - possibly Chantix was only part of it (though an enormous part!), and me being finally truly ready was part as well.

          I'd never dismiss the difficulty involved in others quitting just because I (finally) managed to.  

          Now, American in Bangkok :)

          by American in Kathmandu on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 08:06:45 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  You are very lucky indeed. (3+ / 0-)

            Even with the Chantix I have constant strong cravings, every time I change activities.  Which is when I used to smoke.  I can resist them with Chantix.  There are so many factors - nicotine, behavioral and environmental triggers, genetic components for some, the other chemical components mentioned above.  My oncologist said that its excruciating to quit, especially for those with the genetics that drive the addiction.

            Cats are better than therapy, and I'm a therapist.

            by Smoh on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 05:48:30 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  hang in there... (0+ / 0-)

              I smoked for more than 20 years.  Quit each time I was pregnant because I knew I had to, but went back when I was done nursing, every time, because the cravings were still so unbearable.   As kids grew up, many failed attempts to scale back, quit, whatever, followed but it was always just not possible.  Husband person could never understand how I could be so strong in every other area of my life and not be able to lick this one thing, but then he's never struggled with addiction.  I can't for the life of me understand why it worked so easily this last time.  Perhaps it's just a miracle, so to speak.  Best of luck to you that somehow your cravings will go away one of these days, through some wonderful combination of factors.

              Now, American in Bangkok :)

              by American in Kathmandu on Fri Dec 07, 2012 at 06:29:39 AM PST

              [ Parent ]

      •  To add (5+ / 0-)

        Smoking goes beyond just the addiction.  It's quite common to suffer from depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues after quitting smoking.  There's nothing worse than going through the sheer horribleness of quitting, only to start to experience panic attacks or be too depressed to get out of bed.

      •  And just fyi for non-smokers: (18+ / 0-)

        glaring at me or hating on me in any way because I smoke doesn't move me one inch toward quitting.  If anything, it makes me feel like digging in my heels.

        What does help is encouragement.  I was so demoralized by my failure to quit the first time I tried that I felt as if I couldn't go through such self-shaming again .  That is, until a friend told me most people try 7 times or more before they are successful.  "Think of it as practice," she said.

        Just the other day I heard about something where they have people texting encouragement and such to people who are quitting and it's actually effective.

        I'll get there myself - and soon, I hope.  But it won't be on one of those days where some holier-than-thou type gives me that look.

        Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth - Abraham Lincoln

        by Gustogirl on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 06:38:49 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Some of us really aren't holier than thou (4+ / 0-)

          smoking can pose a direct threat to life for people with Prinzmetal's angina.  Basically the nicotine makes the coronary arteries constrict which can block the oxygen supply to the heart muscle-even if there are no overt blockages present, its like a hyperreactivity in the vessals.  Plus anyone who has compromised heart or lung function is vulnerable to futher compromise of circulation by second hand smoke.

          I do appreciate that it is hard to quit.

          Democrats give you the Bill of Rights; Republicans sell you a bill of goods!

          by barbwires on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 08:17:26 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

        •  I smoked for over thirty-five years... (4+ / 0-)

          I tried everything and then, 13 months ago, a friend bought me and my wife an electronic cigarette.  Neither one of us wanted to try it but they spent almost $100 on the two kits and the supplies that went with them and our kids were so excited, we decided to try.

          We had tried gum and patches and pills and cold turkey and rubber bands and on and on and nothing worked.  I really think I was as addicted to the habit of smoking as much as I was addicted to the nicotine.

          I always hated the way non-smokers tried to guilt me into quitting, tried to rationalize me into quitting, tried to make smoking so uncomfortable by making me stand out in the rain if I had to smoke or snow or freezing cold.  They tried to tell me where and when and if I could smoke.  It became a control issue.  None of that worked until my friends tried compassion and self sacrifice.  That worked.

          My advice for the diarist is to understand that she really doesn't understand just like I do not understand what it is like to be pregnant even though I have watched four children be born, I really do not understand what it is like to be black or gay or Chinese.  I will never fully understand but I can be compassionate.  I can try to help rather than tell someone else what they have to do.  If it were as simple as you make it out to be, no one would smoke.  It is a terrible habit that grabs hold of you and makes you feel at its mercy; it makes you feel helpless.  Take a lesson from my friends.  If you want to help them (or even if you just want to help yourself), be compassionate, understand that you will never understand and find a way to be there for them if they ever find the will to quit.

          One more tip:  All e-cigs are not the same and it takes awhile to find one that tastes right, feels right and is simple enough to make it as convenient as smoking.  Encourage them to be patient and try different flavors, different models, etc...  The vapor is similar to the stuff in fog machines and not harmful to anyone.  It worked for me and my wife but that is no gaurentee it will work for anyone else.

          "Perhaps the sentiments contained in the following pages, are not YET sufficiently fashionable to procure them general favour..."

          by Buckeye Nut Schell on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 03:32:07 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

        •  just an fyi to ignorant smokers (3+ / 0-)

          If you insist on smoking where your smoke is hurting others than they have the right to dig into your soul with their evil eye looks. Don't you know that smokers don't have more rights than anyone else? People aren't glaring at you to get you to quit... they most likely don't give a rat's ass about you or your smoky lungs. They're not being 'holier than thou'... they just want to be healthier than thou. Your smoke is hurtful to others and you do not have the right to expose them. They just want you to go elsewhere and blow your carcinogenic smoke somewhere where you hurt only yourself.

          Stop thinking that the world revolves around you. It does not.

          •  I disagree... (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            bsmechanic

            Smokers were very inconsiderate for many years but that has changed.  With all of the new rules, even owners of establishments cannot smoke in their own bars because it could affect a worker if they chose to quit.  Notice they do not have those restrictions on casinos.  I guess health concerns are not as important as tax dollars.  Smokers have become easy targets for hate and ridiculous rules established merely as a control issue.

            Smoking outdoors poses no more second hand inhalation danger than standing next to a car while it is running or a campfire.  If you believe cigarette smoke is more dangerous, try lighting a campfire or running your car in your garage with the door closed and I'll fire up a pack of cigarettes in mine and we will see who comes out alive.  

            While I still smoked, I was standing outside of a mall smoking a cigarette when a woman walking through the parking lot, with a toddler in tow, approached me.  When she got within fifteen feet of me, she covered the little girls mouth and nose and shot me an evil glance as she guided the little girl away from me.  She walked this little girl right past running cars with their exhaust not three foot away from her face and didn't flinch but to see me standing well away from the door with a lit cigarette created this exagerated reaction.

            A conservative co-worker of mine once told me that he didn't think it was fair that he had to pay increased health care costs because I smoked and he didn't.  I thought about that and decided I would wait for more response for a more appropriate time.  A few days later, he was talking about his family mountain biking on vacation and showed me a video.  I asked him, if his sons had ever been hurt bike riding?  He said yes; one had broken his leg and the other had several stitches.  I asked him why I should pay for that if I do not mountain bike.  I also asked him if they charged mountain bikers thousands of dollars a year in extra taxes to cover their accidents.  He said no, they didn't.  So then I pointed out that I have not been sick (requiring a hospital visit) in many years, I pay thousands of dollars in extra taxes for my habit and my smoking outside affects him just as much as his mountain biking affects me... not at all.

            He had no response to that.  I hate smoking and I am glad I quit but it is ridiculous how many non-smokers act as if smokers are somehow, secondhand citizens.

            "Perhaps the sentiments contained in the following pages, are not YET sufficiently fashionable to procure them general favour..."

            by Buckeye Nut Schell on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 02:37:19 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

      •  My BIL (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        JDWolverton, TrueBlueMajority

        was a heroin addict and gave up heroin cold turkey.  When he gave up smoking, he said it was a hundred times harder than giving up the heroin.

        You are absolutely correct.  It's an addiction.

      •  EXCUSES! (4+ / 0-)

        It took me 5 times, but I finally quit for good. I can't believe this "you don't understand, it's haaaarrrd" is pushed at the diarist who only wanted to disallow smoking in one house... she never told anyone that they had to quit, or that quitting wasn't difficult. All she did was to declare one house smoke free and you can't even let that go without the incredibly whiny refrain... "you don't understaaannnddd".

        Nooo. I stand with the diarist on this. She's not telling you that you can't smoke your brains out. She just asked her family not to smoke in one house. I can't believe this is a controversy. I really don't want to hear your excuses or your whining or your insults... this diary has absolutely nothing to do with your personal journey with tobacco. Of course the dying woman deserves to come home to a smoke free environment. Period.

        •  of course the dying woman deserves to come home (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          ByTor, bsmechanic

          to a smoke free environment.

          that is not what the diary is about.

          the diary is about a non-addict who doesn't understand why addicts keep telling her that she doesn't understand what it is like to be an addict.

          for some reason hearing that simple truth sets her off.

          "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
          Four More Years! How sweet it is!!!

          by TrueBlueMajority on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 08:16:53 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  I'm an ex-smoker (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            JDWolverton

            I grew up in a house of smokers.

            And, to be honest, I am really, really tired of smokers' excuses. Smoking stinks, it's deadly, it harms everyone around the smoker.

            If anyone knows how hard it is to quit, I do---but I wouldn't have quit if I'd given into omg, it's so haaaard! I just kept quitting until I quit, and I haven't looked back.

            Smartest thing I ever did. Well, maybe not the smartest, but close.

            •  again, that's not what the diary is about (0+ / 0-)

              "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
              Four More Years! How sweet it is!!!

              by TrueBlueMajority on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 06:39:29 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  Your words: (0+ / 0-)
                the diary is about a non-addict who doesn't understand why addicts keep telling her that she doesn't understand what it is like to be an addict.
                Your words. Not mine---yours.

                I am an addict who completely understands what it means to be an addict.

                And I completely agree with the author.

                All the protesting appears to be from addicts who are unwilling to accept other people have rights, including the right to not be subjected to the stink of cigarettes, the smoke from cigarettes and the deleterious effects of other people's addictions.

                •  i also agree with the author (0+ / 0-)

                  that people have rights, including the right to not be subjected to the stink of cigarettes, the smoke from cigarettes and the deleterious effects of other people's addictions.

                  the place where I do not agree is that she is complaining, in fact the whole theme of the diary is her complaint, that people keep telling her she does not understand what it is like to be an addict.

                  but she does not understand what it is like to be an addict.

                  she is correct to ask people not to smoke and to get upset with them when they don't do as she asks.

                  but it is the simple truth that "you don't understand, you're not an addict" is a true statement and her taking umbrage at it makes no sense.

                  "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
                  Four More Years! How sweet it is!!!

                  by TrueBlueMajority on Wed Dec 05, 2012 at 07:18:52 PM PST

                  [ Parent ]

                  •  Well, I can see your point there. (1+ / 0-)
                    Recommended by:
                    TrueBlueMajority

                    The problem is, being an addict, even a somewhat reformed one like me (i.e., I managed to break a lifetime smoking habit, and I mean lifetime because it started even before I was born and became an active part of my life when I was maybe 10), makes people cranky and unwilling to face facts sometimes.

                    And given this most recent post of yours, I suspect you're aware of that (and I mean that in a good way).

                    Couple that crankiness with a desperate need to protect the addiction demonstrated on virtually every diary about smoking I've ever seen on DKos (except the GUS ones) through declarations of nobody understands, it's hard to quit, etc., and you've got the comments in this diary.

                    I'm not very kind to smokers anymore. I used to be a smoker, and I just don't see any point anymore of protecting the addiction ... which is what I see so many of the comments here doing. It's a filthy, disgusting, offensive, dangerous habit, and people protect it for all the same reasons drunks deny they're drunk, embezzlers deny they'd ever embezzle, shoplifters deny there's a stereo system in their oversized pants, etc.

                    Just. Not. Into. Protecting. It. Anymore.

    •  No You Really Don't Get It (0+ / 0-)
      Bunk! I understand the situation all too well. I wish you did.
      You really, >really don't.  It's your sanctimonious attitude that makes smokers say fuck you instead of focusing on their own health.  You don't get it at all.  Not at all.

      Gordon Gekko was wrong: greed is not good. It is evil and creates death and destruction. AppleP on DKos

      by Carolyn in Oregon on Tue Dec 04, 2012 at 11:53:42 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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