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View Diary: The Postponement of Grief (55 comments)

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  •  What I have found helpful (15+ / 0-)

    is focusing on how the passing of my loved one can help others.  That though the sorrow and loss is great, there is always something positive to come out of it if somehow it helps another.  I imagine the smile on the face of those who are gone as they look down on the good they did.

    We recently lost my great niece in a horrible way.  But one thing that her passing has brought is a unity within our community and our family.  It has continued on even two months past her death and everyone that I meet comments on how it changed their life, even if only a little bit.  It opened my eyes to a community that I didn't really realize I was part of.  It made many people feel sad, but they too comment that they now feel closer with their neighbors and their loved ones more than ever before.  I focus on that because it makes me feel better.  

    I imagine my Great Niece looking down on all the goings on and smiling because she is helping orchestrate it all.  She is teaching us how to be stronger.  I don't know whether this is true, but I really don't care because it could be, and that is all that matters.  Going through this whole thing also helps you to appreciate more what you had, and that helps you to find the joy in the other things in your life, because you realize it is so fleeting.  Sure the tears will flow, but they will be healing tears and they will not consume you, even if you think they will.  

    Sometimes people are afraid to take that leap into grief because they are afraid of it, they are afraid they can never crawl back out, but it is natural and there is no right way to do it.  Your mind and your body know how to deal with grief and will only allow you to do what you can stand before the mundane reality of life will pull you back.

    I hope this helps, even if only a little.

    Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul in this world--and never will. Mark Twain

    by whoknu on Mon Dec 10, 2012 at 06:36:46 PM PST

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