Skip to main content

View Diary: A very personal diary but in light of DOMA it should be said (40 comments)

Comment Preferences

  •  What kind of mistrust is it? (5+ / 0-)

    I mean from my POV its straight forward.  I like both equally in different ways.

    "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die," - Buddha.

    by sujigu on Sun Dec 16, 2012 at 01:24:31 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  I think part of it is born out of (3+ / 0-)

      the fact that some gay men and women come halfway out of the closet by saying that they are "bi". That's just my thought on it. I also think it is partly the fact that people like labels and black-and-white certainty and are uncomfortable in the presence of grey areas, especially those surrounding sexuality.

      I am gay, and I'm getting married in the Episcopal Church, just like my great-grandmother did.

      by commonmass on Sun Dec 16, 2012 at 01:27:44 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  One girlfriend told me that she couldn't take (5+ / 0-)

        our relationship seriously because she believed that when the going got tough I'd go find a man. She didn't seem to get that the toughest thing for me was dealing with her attitude about it.

      •  I want to gently point out that folks come out of (3+ / 0-)

        the closet as far as they can and as they can. It would be so much better if none of us had to make that journey. But some of us are slow. Or maybe you could say we are more damaged. However you put it, sometimes it doesn't feel like dishonesty or hiding. It just feels like pain and confusion.

        Poverty = politics.

        by Renee on Sun Dec 16, 2012 at 02:36:08 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Sometimes it takes time for people to figure (6+ / 0-)

          themselves out.

          It's not lying, it's just not knowing.

          (Then again, I'm an orientation that seems to have relabeling yourself a couple of times before you completely figure it all out as the standard Coming-Out-To-Self narrative.)

          Someone honestly could have convinced themselves that want-a-close-friendship feelings towards someone were a hetero crush, simply because that's the narrative our society often forces on male/female developing close friendships in childhood and teenagerhood.

          It's also possible, though not anywhere near common, for someone to have slightly mismatched romantic and sexual orientations, so someone who identifies as bi because of having romantic crushes on people of both binary genders may identify as homosexual or heterosexual later on if sexual interest in one gender or the other never actually presents itself.

          Prayers and best wishes to those in Japan.

          by Cassandra Waites on Sun Dec 16, 2012 at 04:36:26 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  That was a beautiful way to say it. Thank you. (3+ / 0-)

            For myself, I can look back now and realize I should have known all along. But I really didn't at the time. And I'm less concerned about my experience than the other people out there still on the journey and reading stuff that gets said about the closet or being bi or … there is so much judgement out there, even when we are trying not to judge.

            But like I said, I hope someday people can just be themselves from their earliest moment on, and there won't be a closet to slowly realize you were put in before you understood what being a person was all about.

            Poverty = politics.

            by Renee on Sun Dec 16, 2012 at 07:30:52 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site