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View Diary: Mother living with mental illness (13 comments)

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  •  After reading your comments on other diaries, (3+ / 0-)
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    ladybug53, chimene, Joe Hills Ghost

    I suspected you had more real life experience with troubled kids & families than most people.

    I read the soccer mom article linked in this diary & it was almost word for word my experiences with our son. We are still finding hidden knives from 15 years ago when he was high school age & at his worst.

    He & we were fortunate that he could behave safely living with his grand parents & his sister was spared more abuse at his hands as she stayed home with us & blossomed.

    He has outgrown a lot of his paranoia & is doing better than we ever could have expected - it is a miracle we marvel at every day. His father matured extra slowly too, that seems to have been a factor. Our relationship with our son is still strained at times, but a 1000 times better than when he left our house.

    Everything about trying to get services & help written in that soccer mom's article is true. I learned to think of prison as 'environmental management' for people who couldn't control their own behavior in a less restrictive environment. There are kids who need to be in locked juvenile facilities & it is almost impossible to get past the 'do-gooders' who think all children are born perfect & should be allowed to express anything they want on whomever they want.

    A homicidal or suicidal 10 year old is a living tragedy & the last thing a caring parent needs is ignorant judgments from people who can go home to sanity any time they want to.

    I learned to tell other parents to keep a tape recorder going when talking to or arguing with their problem child to provide proof when needed. I still have my tapes.

    Something that doesn't make good sense, makes bad sense. That means someone is being deliberately hurtful & selfish. Look for motives behind actions & words.

    by CA wildwoman on Sun Dec 16, 2012 at 03:16:18 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  I can't imagine your trials (1+ / 0-)
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      CA wildwoman

      I worked in mental health before law school, and the experience served me better than I would have suspected when I became a defense lawyer. Especially when I specialized in death penalty defense. But I had a loving family and sweet daughter (despite divorces, illnesses and other chaos that seems to follow d.p. defenders).

      I cannot imagine the level of stress you had to endure, made all the more excruciating by the conflict of loving your son while fearing him and his illness. I believe you must have been brave, loving and tolerant while feeling frustrated, guilty and angry. I am so, so glad that your son has matured and become healthier. Perhaps you could write a diary about your experiences and share your wisdom, to help me and others understand?

      Work and pray, live on hay, You'll get pie in the sky when you die." The Preacher and the Slave, by Joe Hill, 1911

      by Joe Hills Ghost on Mon Dec 17, 2012 at 01:45:33 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

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