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View Diary: Nancy Lanza Not Just "Gun Enthusiast" - updated x 2 (689 comments)

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  •  same conversation (22+ / 0-)

    I had with my 25 yr.old, video-game playing son, trying to judge his reaction.

    me: "That's some serious Mother hate".
    him: " yeah, that's brutal"

    yes, I felt a sense of relief.

    •  Not to disturb your sense of relief, but (13+ / 0-)

      it could have been delusions having to do with "saving" her from the "harshness" of life.

      I could be completely wrong - and we know that a lot of the reporting is pretty sketchy right now - but I think that we are going to find out that these two were peas in a pod on some level.  That they fed on each other's dysfunctions somehow.  Two things that stood out for me were that her family had not seen the kids in quite a long time even though New Hampshire really isn't far away - and that everyone I've seen interviewed in the neighborhood, so far, didn't really know them even after they had lived there for more than ten years.  Anyway, I don't know, but there's something about this story that suggests that there's more to it than what we know so far.

      •  That reminds me of people that (6+ / 0-)

        kill their own children to save them from some awful fate that awaits them.

        •  I think that's the pathology of mothers (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          zmom

          who kill their kids and then kill their kids, apparently.  They can't cope and need to "leave", but they can't leave their kids behind, so they "take them with them instead".

          It is really awful to think about.  They've gotten so twisted up in their "logic" that they seek solutions that are entirely wrong and misguided.

      •  Sometimes that happens (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        peglyn, mightymouse, BYw, schnecke21

        My brother doesn't live that far away, and I went a few years without seeing him. Everybody got busy, had different schedules, got wrapped up in their own lives.

        We've been seeing each other more recently. We're both getting older, and Facebook helps. I can message him or his girlfriend there, and I can text him, without feeling like I'm calling at the wrong time. If he's busy, he'll get back to me later, and if its late, no problem - I'll see his txt when I look at my phone.

        Sometimes technology is a real godsend. I hate to call people out of the blue, because i always feel like I'm intruding somehow. But I have no compunction about an email, txt or Facebook message.

        •  It wasn't that the brothers didn't (5+ / 0-)

          talk after their parents' divorce which sometimes happens in families - it was that they moved to Newtown sometime in the late 90's and some of her family members say that they haven't seen the younger boy for like 10-15 years.  That's a long time not to do Christmas or a funeral or something together.

          •  right her sister hadn't seen shooter since age 3 (3+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            gffish, SoCalSal, thestructureguy
          •  but if he was abusive to her (0+ / 0-)

            and she thought he might be a danger to others, she would try to keep him away from people as much as possible, not only to attempt to keep others safe, but to try to avoid the inevitable advice and critique of every decision she'd ever made about his care and upbringing.

            If he was abusive/destructive/prone to fits of rage that might also explain why she homeschooled him. The fewer people exposed to him, the better, at least in her mind. And the less likely that he'd be locked up or do something to hurt somebody.

            At some point, though, that no longer works, and if you've kept the child away from most people, you don't have any kind of support network to help you deal with him.

            •  The former security guy from the (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              fuzzyguy

              high school says he kept an eye on Lanza, not because he feared violence but because he thought he might be the victim of bullying. He was also the advisor to the technology club, to which Lanza belonged, so had a good sense of what he was like.

      •  my sense of relief (10+ / 0-)

        was for more selfish purposes- my son moved out 4 years ago, and knowing that he plays the "death/kill/murder" games on his computer I've always tried to ascertain their effects.  
        There's no doubt-even to him- that they cause a densensitization on young males. I've always tried to stay on top of just how much. When he still realizes the brutality of a real life mom shot in the face by her real life son- I am grateful that he's able to distinguish this from fictional violence. I know that's not always the case.

        •  I'm reccing that, but I'm horrified you felt (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Nailbanger, AaronInSanDiego, fuzzyguy

          a need to write it.  Horrified you could doubt your own son on that level.  Horrified, but I understand.

        •  To researchers.... (5+ / 0-)

          ...there is no doubt either. They don't.

          You even confirmed that your son was not affected but you still cling to the myth that violent media makes violent children.

          All over the developed world, youths see roughly the same media and play the same games. Canadians, British, Australians....But somehow only in the US has it resulted in such a spree of gun violence. Not very likely. I'd suggest that you look for some unique cause for the problem, since it seems that you don't share it with other countries. Maybe all the guns you have stacked around?

          "They smash your face in, and say you were always ugly." (Solzhenitsyn)

          by sagesource on Sun Dec 16, 2012 at 08:51:03 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

        •  Games don't do shit... (3+ / 0-)

          I'm sorry, but that is utter crap.  I've assassinated and slaughtered hundreds of "people" in dozens of video games.  I'd be a mass murderer on par with the most brutal of dictators if that were real.  

          It hasn't desensitized me in the least.  I can't even imagine how disgusting it would be to shoot or stab someone in real life and have blood coming out everywhere.  

          And far from being desensitizing, video games can even cause you to appreciate how horrible violence could be.  I recently played a game based on The Walking Dead, and at one point you have the option of cutting your arm off to save yourself, and the sound of the bones and flesh being cut was absolutely horrific.  It made me feel very glad it was a game, and certainly didn't make me more prone, or more prepared to perform an act like that in real life.  

          I would never lay a hand on someone in anger, except to defend myself.  I'd never even think of reaching for a knife or a gun except if my life were in danger.  

          I'm sorry, but you need to focus on where the real problem is.  Video games are not the cause of violence, any more than violent cartoons or violent movies.  

      •  My guess too -- that the mother was (0+ / 0-)

        disturbed too.

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