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View Diary: "Why?" (41 comments)

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  •  Sometimes the only thing to do (7+ / 0-)

    is tell our kids that we don't know why.  And acknowledge that it's painful and scary that we don't know why.

    And if one is of a religious bent, as I am and as I gather you are, we can talk about God.  Personally I'm reluctant to phrase it as "God has a plan and this must be part of it"; I find more support in "We don't know why this happens, but God does know, and we trust Him."

    The thing is -- and this is true of adults as well, but it's more obvious with small children -- sometimes "why?" isn't really a need for an explanation; it's another way of saying DO NOT WANT.  When that's the case, no amount of explanation will really help ... which is why we have to fall back on "because."

    And in this case, I think there really isn't any good explanation that will make this not hurt.  There is reason on reason why the murderer wasn't caught first, wasn't stopped, wasn't prevented.  Some of them, when examined, might prove to suggest ways we could stop the next one.  But none of them really answer that why, because that why isn't answerable; it's a cry of pain and frustration and grief, not a question.

    The answer to the child is the same as the only real answer we can give each other:  we don't know why, and it hurts, and I'm sorry it hurts.

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