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View Diary: My Life as an Aspie: Phrases that Ring Hollow (60 comments)

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  •  Homer, I just attended a forum on post-secondary (23+ / 0-)

    educational opportunities for adults with special needs, and I hear in your writing what I was feeling there: It's bleak out there.

    It was fucking depressing, to be totally honest.

    What I took away more than anything from speaking with other parents is that the more high functioning your kid, the more "invisible" the disability, the harder it is.

    One mom was complaining that her daughter's case worker kept telling her she was lazy because she wouldn't take graveyard shift (which meant that the mom would have to work around graveyard shift, and she had a job), or a volunteer position at Goodwill with other kids who were very troubled.

    All I can tell you is bland rah-rah advice.  Hang in there, keep your chin up, try not to let the a-holes out there get you down, and remember that you have a lot to offer.

    I blog about my daughter with autism at her website

    by coquiero on Fri Dec 21, 2012 at 05:04:55 PM PST

    •  This is exactly why I'm so angry. (15+ / 0-)

      And to be honest, this is also why I won't go anywhere near the private sector. You have to be damn near criminal to get anywhere in this country these days and it makes me sick to my stomach.

      I won't lower myself just so some two-bit white-collar criminal can make a buck.

      I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

      by Homer177 on Fri Dec 21, 2012 at 05:10:42 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  You are determined to find a non-profit, (4+ / 0-)

        public sector, or otherwise ethical employer, and you will! Go for it.

        Your anger is beautiful - it is helping you articulate what you don't want, and will not accept. It is showing you the truth about who you are. You are on the brink of an exceptional life.  

        I'll try to find some non-profit-type resources and put in another comment.

        Also, meetup.com is hiring, based in NYC:

        Meetup hiring NYC

        "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." -- JC, Matthew 6:24

        by Chi on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 04:56:50 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  Actually... (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        KateCrashes, Nulwee, jabney

        ... my friends are treated pretty poorly in the non-profit sector, which is why I advise them to avoid it if they can. I wouldn't describe my friends who work in the private sector as "criminal", either.

      •  "Black and white thinking" (6+ / 1-)

        "Black and white" thinking is a symptom of Asperger's Syndrome, and it looks like this is manifesting itself when you consider what jobs you consider acceptable for yourself. It's worth considering whether this attitude towards the private sector and people who work in the private sector vs. the public sector and non-profits is just a manifestation of A.S. that you need to work past in order to find a sustainable job.

        •  Just in case you haven't figured it out... (2+ / 0-)

          There's no such thing as a sustainable job in the United States. Maybe you're just saying this because you happen to have a job, so I won't hold it against you.

          However, I will also tell you that my thinking is hardly Black and White. I also have physical disabilities caused by birth defects that could have been prevented due to parental and doctor negligence.

          I've worked every kind of job you can imagine, and with that experience I've also suffered many workplace abuses due to the fact that I need accommodations in order to perform high stress manual labor jobs.

          You can tell me my thinking is black and white, but you wouldn't say the same if the shoe were on the other foot.

          I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

          by Homer177 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 09:14:03 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  An example of "black and white thinking" (1+ / 1-)
            Recommended by:
            Lisa
            Hidden by:
            Liberal Of Limeyland

            ... is this:

            I won't go anywhere near the private sector. You have to be damn near criminal to get anywhere in this country these days and it makes me sick to my stomach.

            I won't lower myself just so some two-bit white-collar criminal can make a buck.

            That kind of belief system is inhibiting you in your search for a job, but it's also a belief system that is symptomatic of A.S., not a reflection of reality.
            •  Nice job with the condescension. (2+ / 0-)

              I just love how you totally sidestepped my comment and went for the lowest common denominator. Just wait. The shoe will be on your foot soon enough, and you won't get the least bit of sympathy from me.

              I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

              by Homer177 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 10:04:27 AM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  Separate A.S.-rooted-maladaption from reality (1+ / 1-)
                Recommended by:
                Lisa
                Hidden by:
                Liberal Of Limeyland

                You're the one who said that everyone else who's working in the private sector is "a damn near criminal" who "lower[s]" themselves "just so some two-bit white-collar criminal can make a buck."

                Perhaps you should consider your outlook as being part of the A.S. issues some A.S. people have with social adaptation and rigidity of thinking that needs to be "worked on" in an effort to get your life together rather than believing that "the world is against you."

                •  That's exactly how the private sector works. (2+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  brentbent, Liberal Of Limeyland

                  If you'd done even the most minimal amount of research you'd realize that. Maybe I should word this differently then: You have to be damn near criminal in the private sector in order to make a decent living because the folks who robbed us blind did were able to do so because we lost our few means of defense that kept the private sector at least somewhat  honest.

                  Seriously, who the fuck are you to judge me like this?

                  What you call being rigid is simply having some shred of decency and dignity. We gave those things up so that the jackoffs that you're defending can continue feeding us 'average' folks to their machines for more wealth extraction.

                  If refusing to have any part of the cannibalistic nature of our economy makes me rigid, then so be it.

                  I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

                  by Homer177 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 10:27:10 AM PST

                  [ Parent ]

                •  I'm tempted to HR this. nt (0+ / 0-)

                  If I can shoot rabbits, then I shoot fascists- Manic Street Preachers

                  by Liberal Of Limeyland on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 07:38:00 PM PST

                  [ Parent ]

                •  I am uprating (1+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  Williston Barrett

                  to counteract bullshit hide rates.

                  The diarist is upset and emotional and it's coming across as catastrophic thinking. The poster is merely trying to point out that the tone is counter-productive. That's not an HR offense.

                  •  Catastrophic in what way? (0+ / 0-)

                    The fact that I'm sick and tired of seeing this country defending jackoffs who threaten to tank the economy further (as if that were possible) if they don't get to keep their tax breaks?

                    The fact that people have to sell out their principles just to make a decent living, only to have it stolen from them in their old age?

                    The fact that this country is so fucking rigid that any talk of even the smallest thing that benefits the rest of us is considered Communism? Or that we're so rigid that anyone who doesn't chant 'USA! USA!' is considered Un-American?

                    You're right. I am upset. I'm upset because I have to watch helplessly as my fellow Americans are trampled on constantly by the greed of some K-Street fucktard and his rich friends who think letting this country fall to shit will actually save it.

                    And I'm even more angry that we, as people with Asperger's continue to be vilified and demonized by our do-less-than-nothing constructive media.

                    You can call me emotional, but if you ask me, I'm surprised more people aren't pissed off at the way we're consistently raped of anything of value just to keep a few whiny, simpering fucking scrooges happy.

                    I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

                    by Homer177 on Sun Dec 23, 2012 at 07:24:20 AM PST

                    [ Parent ]

          •  There's always plumbing. It's sustainable and it (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Homer177

            can be very profitable. And you will be doing a valuable, literally important service for the public.
            And you don't have to screw anyone you don't want to.

            You can't make this stuff up.

            by David54 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 07:55:37 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  Nice pun at the end. (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              linkage

              I don't do too well with physical labor though. Believe me, I've tried. I work best with computer software and data entry..though unfortunately Database Administration seems to be a dying profession.

              I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

              by Homer177 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 08:13:42 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

              •  Well, hang in there and try not to limit yourself. (0+ / 0-)

                I'm reading about Asperger's and wondering if I wasn't "an Aspie".
                I empathize.
                However, I'm going to give you some advice based on my experience.
                Don't let your diagnosis be a crutch or a prison.
                Life is a disorder.
                Use your understanding to enable you, to empower you, but also, break out of any conceptual restraints.
                You don't  have to stake your whole future on it, just take a course at the local community college or something.
                Something that breaks the mold. Think outside the box.
                As an end in itself.

                You can't make this stuff up.

                by David54 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 08:39:46 PM PST

                [ Parent ]

        •  Can't believe 5 people uprated this POS comment nt (0+ / 0-)

          If I can shoot rabbits, then I can shoot fascists- Manic Street Preachers

          by Liberal Of Limeyland on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 07:47:54 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

    •  Dont think that post secondary education.. (6+ / 0-)

      Is the way out. I highly suspect that I have aspergers and I've been through a business administration program at a highly respected local university.

      What do I have to show for it? Jack shit. I work a night shift at a warehouse for 15 dollars an hour. In the heart of California that means nothing. That's an apartment in a neighborhood where they pull OD's off the street every week.

      It plain sucks being an aspie in this COUNTRY

      •  It sucks being disabled in general in the US.. (3+ / 0-)

        It sucks being American period. In a land where people are taught that compassion for your fellow man is of no concern compared to profit at any cost, I don't see how people can stand living like this anymore..

        I write a series called 'My Life as an Aspie', documenting my experiences before and after my A.S. diagnosis as a way to help fellow Aspies and parents of Aspies and spread awareness. If I help just one person by doing this, then I've served a purpose.

        by Homer177 on Sat Dec 22, 2012 at 09:49:07 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

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