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View Diary: For the First Time, I am Afraid (139 comments)

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  •  yes, and... (0+ / 0-)

    I think you are right about some of them wanting to replay some demented, glorified dream, as you stated. Some of the school shooters carry deep, deep rage within. Prolly every case can be  studied and found to have a different reason behind it, even while much of the profiling may be common.

    I've taught high school kids, still do. I had teens, one who was bullied in emotionally horrible ways. The next year, all his new found friends were bullied in the same manner. And the kids doing the bullying were the popular, well-liked by teachers with proud parents crowd, winning athlete, straight A types. Why did they bully? I'll never understand the why of it; I surmise from my psychological studies that kids who bully are still children themselves and have a need to be noticed, seem clever. They don't understand someone who is different, so, they swell up with arrogance and love to embarrass others who are different. Maybe a kid doesn't want to play football but prefers to develop software or excel in music. It's interesting how many athletic kids are perpetrators of bulllying. I only know that being bullied nearly wrecked my son's life as well as his brother's who never had a problem, but stood by his brother through it all and took on the 'good students.' The principal couldn't see the bullying...wouldn't believe it. Most teachers didn't see it. The parents of the bully kids wouldn't have believed it. They were also teachers or well respected adults in the community. A few did, and gratefully, the counselor, who told us, 'Please don't tell anyone I'm saying this to you, but for your sons' sakes, take them out of this school. Take them out immediately." (Notice, I am not naming the school or its location :)

    All this occurred a few years before Columbine. When Columbine happened, I almost felt like I knew those two boys who went on that rampage. And I was mostly right as to their reasons, although I can't relate at all to their parents who seemed not to have a clue what those boys were doing in the months and weeks the led up to that horrific event. Thankfully, for my family, we spent time together every day, followed up with their activities and friends, even if our sons thought we were going overboard. We taught our children the importance of working out problems through peaceful interventions, talking, an awful lot of hugs and telling them how much they were loved, etc. They suffered for many years with inner rage, but they held their own and worked out their fury within themselves. It was a frightening time to be a parent, but we loved them unconditionally, fed them well, and today they are the most caring, friendly, and insightful young men you'd ever want to know. I felt beaten up after those horrendous years while my kids dealt with their trauma. Their adolescent experiences changed all of our lives forever.

    So, yeah, children's brains are not fully developed until their early 20s. They can feel tremendous rage, even if they aren't mentally disabled. For those who are, the ability to control rage must be so much harder. Add to that scenario a broken home or dysfunctional parents, and there's no telling what may happen. We have a national dysfunctional problem.

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