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View Diary: Too many parents will stare tonight At Unopened Presents (28 comments)

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  •  Survivor's Guilt and Comparative Guilt (18+ / 0-)

    Are things that gnaw at victims and their families and friends.  

    People struggle with it in so many different ways.

    How can I be happy again when such a thing has happened?
    Is my being happy now OK?  Will I forget this if I'm happy?

    They so want to hold onto their memories that it's hard to find a way to honor the ones they've lost and live in a new world and find joy.

    Even people who aren't connected through loss but through the event suffer.   I've seen men, husbands of rape victims who sat and cried because years later they felt ashamed to go on with their own sex lives because they couldn't stop thinking about what a horrible thing had happened to their spouse.  

    Here, other teachers in the school who know these people as friends but not family deal with that going forward: how do I embrace joy in my life without feeling like I'm betraying the sorrow of someone else.

    The simple problem is, there is no right answer.   The bigger problem is: their is no simple answer because we were never designed to face such horrors, and because of that, we will always be unprepared to deal with them.

    Gandhi's Seven Sins: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Knowledge without character; Commerce without morality; Science without humanity; Worship without sacrifice; Politics without principle

    by Chris Reeves on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 05:59:53 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

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