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View Diary: * NEW DAY* How was 2012 for you? (305 comments)

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  •  Well I (5+ / 0-)

    can't go into all of the details here but I have made great changes in my life.

    On the other hand, my asshole ex-husband didn't change a freaking thing (except for the cheating on his wife thing, which I think he doesn't do anymore) and has been remarried for several years now.

    I've done a lot of stuff on my own, traveled, bought a house, worked out, got in shape, improved my position at work, blah blah.  

    Still nada.  

    That's what makes it all the more frustrating.

    Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Barack Obama

    by delphine on Thu Dec 27, 2012 at 09:19:46 AM PST

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    •  Hmm (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      boran2, delphine, paradise50, arizonablue

      Having spent the better part of my adult life with the same person I am quite terrified of being alone. But looks like I got no choice, so...

      I do hope you find what you are looking for out there. And when you do please share with the rest of us.

      Me, I have to learn how to do so many things for myself, by myself, that I feel like I did first day out of the army. Lost....

      "The next time everyone will pay for it equally, and there won't be any more Chosen Nations, or any Others. Poor bastards all." ~The Boomer Bible

      by just another vet on Thu Dec 27, 2012 at 09:25:16 AM PST

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      •  I think (5+ / 0-)

        I've been alone so long that it will actually be a little difficult to allow someone to share my space.

        I have always needed a lot of quiet, personal time.

        When my son was very young, my husband (now ex) would get home from work earlier than I did.  

        I'd get home and want the 5 minutes to get into sweat pants and just decompress.

        He would stand outside the bedroom door with my son, saying stuff like "It's okay, mommy still loves you".

        Couldn't even get the 5 minutes.

        Now I've got all the time in the world to decompress after work.  Sometimes I long for someone bugging the shit out of me for my attention (someone who doesn't have muddy paws, that is!)

        You all have helped me feel better.  Sometimes you just have to put it out there, and have people listen and care, and it gets better.

        I'm sorry you face being alone.  I don't know your circumstances, but when my marriage ended (I ended it, the cheating ahole . . ..!!!) there was grief but a giant feeling of relief.  I ended up rearranging furniture and stuff, just all the things I wanted to do (and some things didn't know I wanted to do) I could now do without asking anyone else's opinion.

        Ending that marriage was liberating . . .

        Virtual hugs.  Giant ones.

        Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. Barack Obama

        by delphine on Thu Dec 27, 2012 at 09:48:05 AM PST

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        •  Thank you (3+ / 0-)

          And a big virtual hug to you.

          I will miss a lot of things. Many I don't even realize yet.

          Its good to know others out there go through this too. Sounds obvious but when you are in the thick of it its amazing just how isolated a person can feel.

          We are one big human family. Nothing but love.

          "The next time everyone will pay for it equally, and there won't be any more Chosen Nations, or any Others. Poor bastards all." ~The Boomer Bible

          by just another vet on Thu Dec 27, 2012 at 10:51:42 AM PST

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