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View Diary: Culture of Fear; Homeschooling and the Connecticut School Shooting. (99 comments)

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  •  I homeschooled, (16+ / 0-)

    In third grade, I had a teacher who would make me stand outside in the snow.  We were required to report our reading habits, and when I told her what I'd been reading (full-length novels), she accused me of lying.  The principal recommended homeschooling to my parents, so they pulled me out for the rest of the year.

    In middle school, I wound up enrolled in a special ed class with a truly remarkable instructor.  I truly feel I owe her my life.

    In high school, the courses were terrible, the bullying was oppressive, and the administration was unhelpful.  After I caught them red-handed falsifying standardized test scored, the principal recommended homeschooling.  My parents pulled me out again.  I combined a self-taught curriculum with some home-school group activities and some online courses.  At 15, I started taking college courses at NCSU.

    I consider homeschooling one of the best things my parents did for me.  I also recognize the contribution that public schooling made to my life.  Please don't stigmatize home-school as a universal evil.

    That said: homeschooling must be done in a good way, and for the right reasons.  The vast majority of home-schoolers I encountered were homeschooling because of religious or racist paranoia.  This is extremely unhealthy.

    In my case, my parents were both highly educated and committed to ensuring my education was better than what I could get in traditional schooling (in third grade they taught me basic algebra, for example).  I'd certainly encourage parents with the resources and abilities to consider it, especially if their child is suffering from bullying.

    •  Bullying (0+ / 0-)

      Does a child who was removed from school due to bullying learn how to deal with bullying as an adult?

      •  Yes ... (6+ / 0-)

        For one thing, she learns that she never ever has to learn to to,erase it or put up with it, and that if others in the environment will not stand with her against the bully, then she had every right to remove herself from the situation. I believe that far too many of us who are forced as children to "learn to deal with reality". --- that is, learn to put up with being bullied --- grow up with the idea that being bullied either in the workplace or in a domestic situation is just something which must be tolerated.

        •  Agree - it is ok to walk away (5+ / 0-)

          from intolerable situations. Think of all the work it has taken, still takes to help women walk away from abusive relationships and find help, a way out. Leaving a kid to be bullied so that she or he hopefully figures it out is cruel.

          It's ok to be there for your child - when that child is in the third grade and suffering bullying or when that child is thirty and trying find her way out of an abusive marriage. Kids grow strong when they know they have support - not only from their parents, but from the community at large. We offer support by creating environments that are intolerant of bullying behavior. We do that all the time when we work for women's rights, for everyone to have the freedom to love whoever they want, when we fight back on racism.

          If we leave kids to be bullied, are we teaching them to just put up with it, to just take it? Can we give them the options of seeking and receiving help, of getting out of bad situations? Can we help the bullies learn tolerance with the support of the schools? When we can't, we bring our kids home.

      •  You don't learn to deal with bullying in school. (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        HomeschoolingMom, Elizaveta

        You don't learn to deal with bullying in school.
        You suffer.  You can suffer silently, or you can fight back and 'share' punishments, but you will suffer.
        There is no hope for retribution, and no hope for escape.
        In the real world, 'assault' is a crime, 'sexual harassment' is a crime, 'libel' and 'slander' are crimes.
        In the real world, if you're in a situation where you're subjected to systematic oppression, you have the power to leave.  As a child, leaving (truancy) is a crime.
        School is backwards.
        The only thing you learn from bullying in school is despair.

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