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View Diary: Men Cry - Since when do we pick on crying men as effeminate and weak? (104 comments)

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  •  I think the Diarist has it wrong. (2+ / 0-)
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    Visceral, a2nite
    But under all of this "fun" is the unstated and very nasty assumption that REAL MEN DONT CRY.
    No. The assumption is that crying often signifies weakness. If you are crying, it means:

    - That you are losing the fight.
    - That things are being taken from you.
    - That your allies are being hurt
    - That you are being ridiculed, and/or
    - That you are powerless to prevent these things from happening.

    I, for one, hope that we serve Speaker Bohener large helpings of these dishes for the next couple years! Especially the "powerless" part!

    Should men cry or not? I don't know. But I do know that any pre-conceptions about crying men (or crying women) come from those who read the DKos front page, not those who write it. This isn't about gender. It's about strength and weakness.

    More importantly, We Liberals need to get something straight about what it means to govern. The government controls the military and the means of law enforcement. Voters want these institutions controlled with strength not with emotion, and certainly not with weakness. Like it or not, if we want to win elections, we had better learn not look like winners, not whiners.

    The person who cries may make a nice dad or boyfriend or girlfriend or therapist. But not a commander-in-chief.

    Can we please stop getting sand kicked in our faces and do a little kicking of our own? Please?

    •  You forgot one.. empathy. (1+ / 0-)
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      perhaps something our leaders could have a bit more of.

    •  sadness is not a "leader" emotion (1+ / 0-)
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      It's not appropriate for a leader to show sadness because that's not what people look to a leader for.  When something bad happens, people are expecting action ... and instead they see someone they look to for strength and guidance breaking down over how terrible it all is.  On one level yes, it is weak; you're answering an attack or defeat with surrender, with an emotion more suited to curling up in a ball than striking back.  At the very least it's self-indulgent; you're wallowing in your own emotions instead of rallying the troops.  A leader has to model the attitude and behavior that they want from their followers.

      Democrats would never tolerate this kind of behavior from our own leaders, man or woman.  Even if they were free to do so without stigma, would you really want Pelosi, Reid, or Obama to react this way?

      To the extent that society expects men to be the strong ones, then a lot of this still holds true.  However sad you may feel, crying is not what the people around you need from you right now.

      Something's wrong when the bad guys are the utopian ones.

      by Visceral on Thu Jan 03, 2013 at 02:38:39 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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