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View Diary: I am an idiot (48 comments)

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  •  I know how you feel (7+ / 0-)

    A friend that you've been sympatico with for years, that you feel agrees with you, that you have leaned on for support - and then this. You know that it's a touchy subject, but she approaches it first. And then you feel like she pulled the rug out from under you, sideswiping you with a pattern that you never thought she'd have.

    It's left you feeling discombobulated, feeling as if it's all your fault. If you hadn't brought it up in the first place (but really - how could you know how far did you realize her feelings and ideas went to begin with?) If only you had cut her off when she wanted to talk - but how could you know how the conversation she started would go.  If only you had found the magic phrase that no one knows about that would have set things right, and dispelled that nasty spell that she is suffering from. If only the world could be set right again.

    Guess what? It's not your fault. Obviously gun control is an issue that is a hot topic for her. But her feelings are her issues, not yours. You apologized to her and sent overtures after the argument. You extended the hand of friendship - and it's hers and only her decision what she will do next. Sometimes these fractures happen - and for a long-time friendship, sometimes a little time needs to pass for the fractures to cover over a bit.

    Sometimes you can simply call and suggest meeting as normal - and let this incident be pasted over. If you go this route, I suggest something other than talking over lunch - perhaps shopping, a museum, anything that allows a common conversation not about politics to take place.

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