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View Diary: Top Comments: Nipping "That's Gay" in the Bud Edition (94 comments)

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  •  There was an incident (17+ / 0-)

    in my classroom in which it was said, and I confronted it. A couple of days later, after a student who was in that class and witnessed it (and who obviously guessed my sexual orientation, probably because I walk around with an "LGBT for Obama" pin on my laptop bag) said, "I'm really sorry about what happened during the last class. Most of us think that was really ignorant." It was pretty heartwarming to know that people care.

    I'll definitely go check that clip out. Thanks, Steven.

    Homosexuality is found in over 450 species. Homophobia is found in only one. Which one seems unnatural now?

    by Chrislove on Fri Jan 11, 2013 at 07:12:41 PM PST

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    •  Always interesting to decide how to call stuff out (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      (At least, when it isn't mind-numbingly painful and boring).  Depends, among other things, on the flow rate and the origin.  Sometimes you can nip something in the bud, sometimes you just direct a certain level of nonverbal disapproval with occasional modifying statements, sometimes you get somebody fired, sometimes you make a project of the person and switch up their attitudes by meeting them on a nonjudgmental space first, and sometimes you just hold a very hard, cold, consistent line.  And it depends on whether your group is the target and what the consequences of the correction will be for target group members (self included) in the room.  There are lines I won't cross (racist joke = cold fast response, even if it gets me fired) and things I have to choose to live with, or simply exit the situation.   The closer you are to the target group, the fewer choices you have.  

      I think that if someone isn't a little kid, per this example, then the shit they say is often the very tip of the iceberg, or maybe the periscope coming up for a fix, especially if you are the target group or there is a member of the target group in the larger community.  By all means, shoot off the periscope!  But how you do that changes the rest of the war, for sure.  You can also pipe bugs bunny cartoons down the periscope, sometimes.  

      The thing that gets me is that it is always work, if you're really different from the others and they are accustomed to use your group as the butt of jokes and cruelty.  It is important and vital work, but it is always there, and eventually it creates a weariness that makes even being in the world hard.  

      Steveningen's comment inspired this late late response (I am generally going to be too early for TC these days, once again).  But it is an endless issue for those who are different.  

      ...j'ai découvert que tout le malheur des hommes vient d'une seule chose, qui est de ne savoir pas demeurer en repos dans une chambre.

      by jessical on Sat Jan 12, 2013 at 09:36:27 AM PST

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