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View Diary: Children are Often Oppressed in Religious Households (64 comments)

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  •  A thoughtful and insightful response. (4+ / 0-)

    And, imho, you are absolutely right.

    I was raised in a religious (SDA) household. My parents were "strict" about some things -- no TV watching on Saturdays, for example -- but this sort of rule never bugged me (it meant that I got out of doing any homework on Saturdays, for one, which more than made up for the TV thing). Though we went to church weekly, my parents always made it clear that we were free to decide on our own religious beliefs. In this sense my parents were not "authoritarian".

    But.

    My mom could be, in her own way, quite the control freak. She had obsessive tendencies as well as high standards and it was clear we were expected to meet them. She reserved the right to criticize us at any time, for anything (which happened a lot) while any complaining or protesting on our part drew immediate censure from her. I hated what I saw as her hypocrisy and her arbitrary authoritarism.

    (I must point out here that I love my Mom dearly, but she'd be the first to admit that she's not perfect.)

    Was I "suppressed"? In some ways, yes, as all children are. Was I scarred for life by it? Not any more than most children are.

    Was my mother critical and controlling because of her religious beliefs? No. Her religion had nothing to do with it. That was simply her personality. If I had been reared as an atheist or an agnostic, I would have been "suppressed" in exactly the same way.

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    by Eowyn9 on Mon Jan 14, 2013 at 10:50:08 AM PST

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