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View Diary: He Doesn't Believe There's a"Rape Culture" (208 comments)

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  •  overall I agree (1+ / 0-)
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    and as such I tipped and recced. I want to say that I don't agree for one second with any law that denies any woman the right to to make decesions about her own body and we're long overdue for a serious discussion about certain aspects of our society.

    But I'm not sure I would compare that to rape. Maybe that's because I'm uncomfortable with the analogy, maybe it's because I've known people that have been raped and thus dislike how people can so casually throw the word around.

    Either way I'm not sure it matters as in the end we want to end up in the same place. A society where woman are equal

    •  It's not so much an =, (3+ / 0-)

      not about being identical, as it is an extension -- both situations depend on the idea that women's bodies are public property.

      Certainly the experience of rape isn't identical to the experience of being refused health care, though some of the realities of that are just as violent. Rape is an immediate, violent assault, while the other situations here are more subtle, long-term violence.

      I may have to apologize for this metaphor, but I've got a cooking show on:

      When you're cooking a steak, you throw it on a hot fire (or grill) for a little while. For stew, you put the meat in at a low temp. & leave it for a much longer time. It's not as dramatic an experience, but it causes (at least) the same damage.

      •  well the type of analogy to me is second (0+ / 0-)

        to how effective it is and I certainly understand your point and in that we both agree.

        But to continue your metaphor I wouldn't call a 'stew' a 'steak' either

        As I said it's largely semantics I suppose but to me it's semi important.

    •  I understand about the word usage (3+ / 0-)
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      GreenMother, TiaRachel, qofdisks

      I had panic disorder for a number of years and I can sometimes be overly sensitive to a comment like "The door bell rang while I was fixing my hair and I panicked."

      That's not panic.

      But panic--for me--was an explosion that came out of a certain level of anxiety that was always there even when I wasn't actually having an episode.

      The violent violation of physical Rape occurs in a climate that is already bubbling over with everyday misogyny.  That's the rape culture.

      We could probably use some new words. I wish we didn't have the reality.

      •  I believe yours is a perfectly reasonable response (2+ / 0-)
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        TiaRachel, qofdisks

        to a totally unacceptable experience[s] and reality.

        When people hurt a person that way, it changes the survivor forever.

        Some people think that it makes survivors "paranoid", but paranoia is an unreasonable fear of an improbable outcome.

        Surviving sexual violence means that we are fearful of an outcome that could happen again. Our fear is of something that has already happened. And for some of us, something that has happened more than once.

        That precludes the idea of an unreasonable fear, a phobia or paranoia.

        But that also seems to be the line in the reality, between those who have been through this and those who have not.

    •  Making you get exams against your will, coercing (4+ / 0-)
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      martydd, TiaRachel, Leftleaner, qofdisks

      you with the threat of jail or fines, so that you have to hold still for an ultrasound wand to be shoved into your vagina is Rape by Instrumentation.

      threatening to put your personal information up on websites to stigmatize you as a slut who had an abortion, is basically putting the welcome mat out for any other citizen to verbally or physically abuse you--to punish you for your wanton carnality.

      Stigmatizing women who use birth control, or who have sex before marriage, calling them sluts and whores, and accusing them of pulling trains [ala Flush Limpburger] facilitates "Righteous" anger against women in general that also do these things or are otherwise alleged to have done them, also opening their lives up to all sorts of retaliation, including but not limited to, social stigma, verbal abuse, physical abuse, even the loss of a job.

      You don't have to actually "penetrate" a woman to traumatize her. You only have to threaten to do it, while the rest of the audience stands idly by, making sure she knows that the normal legal and social protections offered to "good girls" will not be in play for her.

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