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View Diary: How Not to Win Friends on Gun Control (66 comments)

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  •  people I talk to in chat rooms and social media. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    BlackSheep1

    More than once, from more than one person. It may not be a global issue, but if anyone who's reading this would say such a thing, I want them to know I'm going to stand for reasonable discussion.

    •  still new here (0+ / 0-)

      The above should have been posted as a reply to you, psylonic: sorry.

    •  This site is not exactly like those (3+ / 0-)
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      Habitat Vic, jfromga, Melanie in IA

      I might suggest that one way not to win friends here might be to post a first diary setting up a straw man based on what "some other people say on some other sites" and inform the entire community that if such a thought ever crossed their mind they need to know that you already consider them ignorant bigots.

      However, it's a big tent around here, and the fact is you'll win numerous friends from the RKBA group, so you definitely want to get in touch with them ASAP.
      http://www.dailykos.com/...

      "No one life is more important than another. No one voice is more valid than another. Each life is a treasure. Each voice deserves to be heard." Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse & Onomastic

      by Catte Nappe on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 11:32:45 AM PST

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      •  It's the toughest gang in the hood (0+ / 0-)
      •  thank you. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Catte Nappe

        I'm getting that.  first attempt: fail.  I'm getting that I need to point to specific issues and source things.  I will try to do so in future.

        I really was just trying to make a point about civility more than anything.  

        •  How? By being uncivil? (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          jfromga, Melanie in IA

          I voted for the human beings.

          by denig on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 11:50:08 AM PST

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          •  I know you think my use (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Shamash

            of the term "ignorant bigots" means that I was being uncivil.  Perhaps you're right.  It depends on if you think "ignorant" means "you don't know what you're talking about" and if "bigot" means "you're willing to make sweeping judgements about a group of people you don't even know" or not.

            •  From my perspective, uncivil is... (4+ / 0-)

              ...barging into a room full of strangers, and saying "Hi! I am diane and I am just warning you  - some people in other places I've been are disrespectful, and I'm not going to put up with any of that from you guys!"  Of course, that may be how civil people introduce themselves in other places you've been. For myself, I've generally tended to introduce myself more gradually (for example, through comments in other's diaries) and kind of getting the tone of the gathering before leaping up on a soap box and telling all within hearing that they'd better shape up when I'm around.

              You might be interested in some other groups.
              Courtesy Kos

              A group dedicated to courtesy, civility, politeness and positivity. Our group motto -- "Killing the Meta Wars - With Kindness"
              http://www.dailykos.com/...

              New Diarists might be worth a peek, too

              A safe place to practice writing a diary that won't get us publicly consigned to Worst Diary Hell at the GOS. Lurkers come out and play with us! Mentors come by and help us, please!
              http://www.dailykos.com/...

              "No one life is more important than another. No one voice is more valid than another. Each life is a treasure. Each voice deserves to be heard." Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse & Onomastic

              by Catte Nappe on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 12:07:07 PM PST

              [ Parent ]

            •  isn't that what you just did (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              denig, Melanie in IA

              you made something up about people here that by and large isn't true, isn't stated here, and then made judgments about people you don't know.   And then asked why you had to explain your purely specious point to us.

              Thanks,  you're making a great first impression.

              •  Actually, I don't think that's (0+ / 0-)

                what I did.  I made nothing up, and any judgements I made I think I was clear about, and I do indeed know the people I'm talking about.  One reason I haven't called any of them out is because they are otherwise decent people that I get along well with, except for this issue.  

                Elsewhere in these comments, I have listed lessons I have learned from those of you who have taken the time to post responses to my diary.  I am also trying to make it clear that I am grateful for your time, as you've read and then commented on what I've said.  

                Truly, thank you.  

                As for the impression I'm making, hopefully I can show in future that I am capable of learning from mistakes, and that I can contribute positively and perhaps even valuably here.  I intend to give it a good try.

                •  you made up an issue (1+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  denig

                  to blame people here for espousing support of, when in fact,  you can't prove any such support or quote diarists here that have been uprated for those kinds of comments.

                  So basically, you made something up.    That really does exceed mere ignorance as a social faux pas.  Why would you do something that unacceptable while beating your chest about your superiority?  What kind of person does that?   And you've learned your lesson, not that you did something socially atrocious, but that you should do atrocious things better?  With citations?

                  You have been here since January 7 as a registered user, who do you know that well, and how could you think the entire group merited your lecture.  That's thousands upon thousands of active members here.   And if we got somebody else's lecture because you didn't want to offend them, that says alot about you, none of it that qualifies as good from where I'm sitting.

                  •  no, again, no... (0+ / 0-)

                    I wasn't talking about any kossacks.  It wasn't about you.  I'm sorry that wasn't clear somehow.  I will be more clear in my word choices in future.

                    •  don't worry (0+ / 0-)

                      the people here, including me, realized the behavior you condemned wasn't the behavior of kossacks, that is why people condemned what you said.   You attacked the people of this site for opinions they don't hold and told us all off because you by and large like the people who apparently hold these opinions(or so you would have us believe, but maybe you're still confused and no one in the real world who knows you actually holds these opinions at all) and didn't want to get into it with them.  But attacking a bunch of strangers for what they didn't do or think was fine with you.  It wasn't your word choice that was a problem.  You apparently still have no clue what your problem is or was.  

                      •  You are missing my point (0+ / 0-)

                        entirely.  I.  wasn't.  talking.  about.  you.  or.  anyone.  at.  this. site.

                        •  horse feathers (0+ / 0-)

                          if you didn't mean to address people here, why post at all?   Do you normally run into a room full of strangers, scream out for fifteen minutes and then say, oh, please don't worry, I wasn't talking to you?   Each time you try to excuse  your behavior you dig the hole deeper.  Either your act was irrational, or you were talking to the people here.  Who else could you have been planning to talk to when you hit publish on that diary?   And are you so unaware of how this blog works that you thought everyone would just know you always choose your words poorly and talk to people that aren't there?

            •  You're wrong. You have no idea what I think. (0+ / 0-)

              Your diary title and therefor I assume the thrust of your diary is "How no to win friends on...." Then you proceed to rant at us and our ignorant bigotry, because of something somebody said somewhere else. Why would you think what was said there is a view substantially held here? Because we're Democrats? That only makes sense if you're a Republican. And unhinged.

              You are making sweeping judgements about a group of people (us) that you say you don't even know.  You just march into someone's house and tell them what jackasses they are, because maybe they agree with something you heard some anonymous person down the street say.

              That is uncivil.

              If you want to know what people think ask them. If you want people to be civil and try to win people to their side, let it first begin with your own civility, friendliness and winning ways.

              I voted for the human beings.

              by denig on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 12:12:50 PM PST

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              •  there was an "if that's the case" in front of my (0+ / 0-)

                comment about bigots, and nowhere have I called you personally, or anyone in general here anything like a bigot, unless you have judged anyone who is interested in guns to be mentally ill simply for having that interest. I apologize if I have created confusion on that issue.  

                let me be clear:  denig, I do not think you are a bigot.

                To get from what I wrote, that I think you -- I suppose meaning all @ Kos -- are bigots, is a complete misreading of my diary.

        •  nope. You're right. The bigotry is real. (5+ / 0-)

          The claims here on DKos range from "compensating" to "paranoid."
          A good first effort from my point of view.

          LBJ, Lady Bird, Anne Richards, Barbara Jordan, Sully Sullenberger, Ike, Drew Brees, Molly Ivins --Texas is no Bush league! -7.50,-5.59

          by BlackSheep1 on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 12:00:26 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

    •  Then write a reasonable diary. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      bleeding blue

      One that actually fosters discussion.

      More than once? From more than one person?  In chat rooms and social media?  Oh Noz!

      And you come here to kos and rail on us. Sweeping judgements, indeed!

      You do know that on the intertubes you can pretty much find every crackpot idea espoused more than once, from more than one person.  What that has to do with kos, I have no idea. But next time before you go off all half cocked,  be sure your aim is true.

      Why do I have to explain this?

      I voted for the human beings.

      by denig on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 11:36:02 AM PST

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    •  It is often recommended (0+ / 0-)

      that, when you enter a new site or a new forum, you sit back and read for a month or six before posting anything.  This allows you to learn the landscape:  Who is who, what goes over well and what does not, what are 'hot button' issues, what has been done before, etc.

      I am not religious, and did NOT say I enjoyed sects.

      by trumpeter on Tue Jan 15, 2013 at 12:46:35 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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