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View Diary: "I snapped, shot 3 people, I'm sure," Stidham told police. Police confirm: 3 people dead (323 comments)

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  •  some friendly advise (12+ / 0-)

    there is a reason, down inside you, way down inside you that allowed you to become a victim in the first place.

    Think of that place inside you as a box.  A box you protect some part of you and that box is never opened - not even by you.

    In other words, that box inside you is guarded -- guarded by you.  And you cannot even see inside.

    There is a way to peek inside that box and once you can see what it is exactly that you are protecting -- you will have much greater control over your "snapping event"

    The way you peek inside that box is very hard but is doable.  Here is what you do.

    The next time someone, including a family member, strikes the cord in you that feel yourself snapping at your family members - don't - instead do this:

    Think about the exact words they used that struck your cord

    Then go backward in time to figure out what happened, long ago, that cause similar words to cause you to 'get in protection' mode which causes you to become defensive.

    Over time, you will be able to actually see inside that box you are protecting.

    You will shocked to find what you find -- my hunch is -- you will find that you are protecting a part of you, maybe from your youth, that you never really wanted to lose so you put that part of you in a box so no one could hurt that part of you --- and thus you continue to protect that part of you.

    The beauty is, once you figure out what is in that box, you can then bring that part of you out of the box and protect that part, in the open.

    It is hard to do, but doable.  If you really want to look inside that box, while it is hard, it doesn't take a long time to do if you are committed to finding out what is inside that box.

    Again, congrats on being a survivor of abuse and living a life as a recovered victim.

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