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View Diary: The best Dear Abby answer. Ever. (136 comments)

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  •  Lol Lol Lol (10+ / 0-)

    APRIL 29, 1975
    Dear Abby, I have often wanted to write to you, but never had a reason until now. My problem is my mother. She wants surgery done on her "grapes" to have them enlarged to about grapefruit size.

    My father keeps saying no-he likes her dried raisins the way they are. Mom disagrees and is willing to give up a vacation in order to have the surgery done.

    It all started as a joke, but it turns out that mom is dead serious. She's even underlined the plastic surgeon's name in the phone book. She says she wants something big for her 40th birthday.
    How do you feel about the situation?   -Grapenuts

    Dear Grapenuts: If this would be good for your mother's morale-why not? I only hope that she and your father can agree on a fruit that's not forbidden.
    ---------------------
    June 24, 1975
    Dear Abby, A girl signed "Grapenuts" wrote; "My mother said that for her 40th birthday she wants to have plastic surgery to have her "grapes" enlarged to about grapefruit size, but Dad says he likes her "dried raisins" the way they are."

    Well, please inform "Grapenuts" to tell her mother that I have a couple of honeydews I'd gladly trade for her grapes. It's no joke toting around all this excess produce. All it attracts is fruit flies! -"Future Watermelons"

    Dear Future; My mail tells me that too much of a good thing can be every bit as agonizing as too little. The trade you offer isn't possible, but a competent plastic surgeon could whittle down your watermelons to cantaloupe size.

    "It is the difficulties that make us stronger."

    by Chamonix on Fri Jan 18, 2013 at 10:30:33 AM PST

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