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View Diary: Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! (235 comments)

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  •  Jeers to MIL having me take her to the ER on Tues. (14+ / 0-)

    She said she wasn't able to urinate since that morning.  I asked her if she felt the urge but nothing came out, and she said yes.  I thought it was a UTI, but it turns out she was mildly dehydrated.  This is the second time she's gone to the ER for dehydration.  Part of the problem is that she has urinary incontinence, so she doesn't like to drink too much, even though we tell her to stay hydrated.

    In the ER she complained constantly.  "My neck hurts." "My socks are too tight." After pulling the socks down a bit, "Pull them back up."  "The light's too bright." "I'm cold."  I procured 3 warm blankets.  "I need a box of tissue."  For some reason, she's constantly spitting up phlegm.

    I took her to the shrink yesterday to see if she could be prescribed a new med because the Celexa doesn't seem to be working.  The doc decided not to introduce a new med because MIL hasn't tolerated the previous two new meds, and asked if I had any suggestions.  "How about Wellbutrin?"  So she prescribed it on top of the Celexa.  Why didn't the doc think of the Wellbutrin herself?

    When I got home from volunteering today there was a panicked voicemail from MIL, who'd read about all the side effects and decided she didn't want to take the Wellbutrin, which she just spent $32 on, and for which I stood in line for 30 minutes to get and 20 minutes splitting pills.  She said she didn't think she was depressed, even though she's told SIL and her doctors she was.

    I'm close to being at my wit's end.  Outwardly, I'm very patient, but inside I'm kind of disgusted.  I've come to the conclusion that I just don't like MIL very much.  So we've got the back pain from the fall, and the shingles resolved.  Now to tackle the urinary incontinence, the constant phlegm, and the tremors.  It sucks to be old.

    "I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying" --license frame

    by Maudlin on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 05:53:06 PM PST

    •  {{{Maudlin}}} (7+ / 0-)

      Life's tests.

      I hope they get it sorted out.  So you can get some sanity back.

      -

    •  Hmmm. (6+ / 0-)

      I feel for you having to deflect all you attempt.

      Here's to the strength you need.

      It's better with butter!

      by Robert Helmuth on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 06:22:04 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Feel for you, Maudlin (6+ / 0-)

      My MIL sucked rocks. She was mean, played favorites with her children, played them against each other and was generally very unpleasant. She also had depression or bi-polar problems but would not get help.

      She had a minor something or other that ended up getting her admitted to the hospital. Husband and I got to take her in after she got out because we had the most space. She spent 3 long months with us and I hated every damn second of it. She finally got mad at Husband for something extremely petty and she went back home because she didn't need us.

      Unsurprisingly she didn't take her meds or take care of herself and she died within a few weeks doing something stupid and preventable. Husband has felt awful ever since. I have bouts of guilt about it.

      Don't walk away from your MIL unless you are able to deal with the potential consequences. As much as I disliked mine, she probably didn't deserve what she got.

      Maybe.

      •  Oh, I won't walk away. But I'll continue to be (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        diggerspop, Melanie in IA, mjbleo, SeekCa

        frustrated.  At least she doesn't meddle, and she doesn't play favorites.  She's generally very pleasant, but she can be passive/aggressive.

        It just seems that she wants to make herself miserable.  She's in a nice senior residence with nice people, plenty of help and activities, a hair salon on site, a dining hall, and a shuttle to take her to appointments (except she refuses to take it because the seats are too hard), but she takes no interest in other people, even though they've reached out to her.  She sits in her apt. and watches TV all day and has her caregiver bring her meals to her if she doesn't feel like going to the dining hall.  We've tried to get her to take her vitamins and use her cane or walker, but she won't.  I can only attribute her behavior to depression.  We've done all we can, but she's got to start taking responsibility for her own happiness.

        There's no way I'll feel guilty.  I remind myself of how I'd like my own mother to be treated and treat MIL accordingly.  And I'm thankful that she brought her son up right.  But I reserve the right to think she's a nut.

        Don't beat yourself up about your MIL.  It sounds like she was ultimately responsible for what happened.

        Thank you for your response.

        "I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying" --license frame

        by Maudlin on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 09:37:15 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  It's okay if you don't like her very much. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      mjbleo, Maudlin

      Really.

      {{{Maudlin}}}

      I get to choose, and I choose love.

      by Melanie in IA on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 04:16:17 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Thanks, Melanie. Her own kids love her, but (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Melanie in IA

        I don't think they like her very much, either.  They're frustrated, too.

        MIL does have redeeming qualities; she's a Dem, hates Romney, and likes baseball and football.  She's a great cook and you should see the Xmas stockings she made a long time ago.  At least she's not like my sister's MIL, who's a moocher and judges everyone based on the college they attended.

        Welcome back from your trip!  I bet it was a thrill.

        "I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying" --license frame

        by Maudlin on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 07:46:36 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

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