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View Diary: Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Coke FRIDAY! (235 comments)

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  •  Feel for you, Maudlin (6+ / 0-)

    My MIL sucked rocks. She was mean, played favorites with her children, played them against each other and was generally very unpleasant. She also had depression or bi-polar problems but would not get help.

    She had a minor something or other that ended up getting her admitted to the hospital. Husband and I got to take her in after she got out because we had the most space. She spent 3 long months with us and I hated every damn second of it. She finally got mad at Husband for something extremely petty and she went back home because she didn't need us.

    Unsurprisingly she didn't take her meds or take care of herself and she died within a few weeks doing something stupid and preventable. Husband has felt awful ever since. I have bouts of guilt about it.

    Don't walk away from your MIL unless you are able to deal with the potential consequences. As much as I disliked mine, she probably didn't deserve what she got.

    Maybe.

    •  Oh, I won't walk away. But I'll continue to be (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      diggerspop, Melanie in IA, mjbleo, SeekCa

      frustrated.  At least she doesn't meddle, and she doesn't play favorites.  She's generally very pleasant, but she can be passive/aggressive.

      It just seems that she wants to make herself miserable.  She's in a nice senior residence with nice people, plenty of help and activities, a hair salon on site, a dining hall, and a shuttle to take her to appointments (except she refuses to take it because the seats are too hard), but she takes no interest in other people, even though they've reached out to her.  She sits in her apt. and watches TV all day and has her caregiver bring her meals to her if she doesn't feel like going to the dining hall.  We've tried to get her to take her vitamins and use her cane or walker, but she won't.  I can only attribute her behavior to depression.  We've done all we can, but she's got to start taking responsibility for her own happiness.

      There's no way I'll feel guilty.  I remind myself of how I'd like my own mother to be treated and treat MIL accordingly.  And I'm thankful that she brought her son up right.  But I reserve the right to think she's a nut.

      Don't beat yourself up about your MIL.  It sounds like she was ultimately responsible for what happened.

      Thank you for your response.

      "I'm not speeding, I'm qualifying" --license frame

      by Maudlin on Fri Jan 25, 2013 at 09:37:15 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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