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View Diary: Jarhead In Crisis (173 comments)

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  •  These are all excellent suggestions. (28+ / 0-)

    Sounds like this isn't your first rodeo Vetwife!

    I'm a former CASA and couldn't agree more.  PvtJarHead should ask the court to recommend an extra pair of eyes on this case and get a CASA if he can.  The mom isn't in a good place given her recent choices and without the right supervision there is a potential danger to the child.

    One thing I always tell my friends is something I heard on Dr. Phil: The person you marry isn't the person you divorce.  Always keep that in mind.  

    •  4 time rodeo circuit and won all 4 times (22+ / 0-)

      3 children at once in 1999 when state stepped in on the mom and the last time was 2006.  Same Mother.
      4 times at the rodeo.    Thanks for the kind words Hushe and Ellid.  
      It is not an easy feat to prove a Mother unfit.
      The documentatiion spoke loud but the stability of we as grandparents then helped tremendously.   The courts look at familiar family, they look at stable roofs and schools and relationships...and consistency.  Disability does not matter unless it is affecting children in a negative way.   Age does not really matter.  As long as you are there for your children and there is stable income and housing and no neglect, the judge will look at that and do not think for a second CASA or Homestudy, or child advocates do not come into this if there is a custody issue because it does come into the picture.  Always better if you ask for the help too for your child.   Once the state stands behind you it is a good thing.  

      She can go to the state and lie like a dog trotting and make you out the bad guy, cry crocodile tears and win sympathy of the court.   Get the truth out there BEFORE you go to court and make a stand  Good luck.

      We the People have to make a difference and the Change.....Just do it ! Be part of helping us build a veteran community online. United Veterans of America

      by Vetwife on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 03:22:28 PM PST

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      •  Just for the record... (20+ / 0-)

        My wife is not an unfit parent.  She is doing some stupid things and making horrible decisions right now based on bad advice from a friend of hers.  Even though our relationship is over, I still love and care about her as a person and as the mother of my child.

        It is my sincere hope and desire that all of this works out in the end and we can all find some peace.  Right now my sole mission in life is protecting my child.  Period.

        I am indeed thinking long term, but I'm taking each situation and day one at a time.

        "Ich bin ein Dachs!"

        by PvtJarHead on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 03:51:10 PM PST

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        •  I did not mean to say you felt she was unfit (14+ / 0-)

          but that is the only way a judge will grant custody.  A small child usually is perceived to stay with the Mother unless proved unfit.   If you feel your child is not safe, I don't know how to respond because a child does not have time for a parent to correct some mistakes and the safety of a child is what should always come first 24/7.
          if drugs are involved then ...you need to understand, she is not looking out for her while exposing her to illegal behavior.   You seem to be hopeful of a resolve and reconsile of the mistake and I hope you can salvage this problem but look at the situation you are in.   You must face the gravity of it.  I am not trying to put you in defense mode...it is what it is.  That is all we have to go by.

          I wish you luck.

          We the People have to make a difference and the Change.....Just do it ! Be part of helping us build a veteran community online. United Veterans of America

          by Vetwife on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 04:20:41 PM PST

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          •  Vet Wife is so right about this, the most a judge (5+ / 0-)

            will grant you is joint and shared custody if he feels she is a fit mother.  But if you want sole custody, it must be shown that the child would be in an unhealthy or unsafe environment living with her.  

            My nephew's wife deserted him and took their baby out of state to live with her lover while he was deployed to Iraq. It was during the worst part of the war in Iraq, when it was most dangerous. She told him via email she was leaving him and moving out state and taking the baby with her. The most he has even been able, 6 yrs later, is joint custody. He was fortunate to get transferred to the state where the mother and child reside.  He had to change his entire classification in the Army to do so but it finally worked out.  He has now remarried with another child and the ex wife has remarried.  The mother has a history of cutting herself and other mental illness but he was never able to get sole custody no matter what she did and no matter what the psychologists said who backed him up and said the child needed therapy because of the mother. The judge simply refused to grant sole custody to him because he is still active duty Military and career military.
            The only good thing is he is now able to see his child most anytime he wants but he is still pushing for custody and it is a tough road.  The problem was he was in Iraq and he could not stop her actions or take her to court until he returned home, his hands were tied.  

            You are more fortunate as you can take her to court quickly and you got a lawyer quickly..that is good.

            Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

            by wishingwell on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 08:22:25 PM PST

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