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View Diary: We Lost Another One: Gay Oregon teen hangs himself on school playground after bullying (105 comments)

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  •  As The Mom Of A Gay Woman..... (11+ / 0-)

    what difference does sexuality make?  She's married to a great woman who treats my husband & I like royalty.  They are wealthy, happy, healthy  have great careers, live 10 blocks from the beach in a million dollar home & go on exotic vacations.....and have the most awesome friends.  Tons of them.

    If only Jadin had realized that middle school & high school & their tormenters become a distant memory once you get the heck out of there.  

    •  A child's sense of time is different. (12+ / 0-)

      For those of us in middle age, a year seems like hardly any time at all.  For a child, the prospect of having to wait another year or two, or perhaps longer, before he can escape the ceaseless torment can seem like too much to bear.   That's why early and immediate intervention is imperative.

      I spent years and years of my life being bullied for being gay.  Back then, there was no place to turn.  When I went to bed at night, I used to pray I'd never wake up.  I'd gladly have killed myself, but I couldn't bring myself to hurt my parents like that.  So I stuck it out.  I lived through it, but it left its scars, and they are with me to this day at age 52.

      Every time I read one of these stories I despair.  I had hoped that with all the progress we've made over the last couple of decades, young people would no longer feel the need to seek refuge in the grave.  But here we are in 2013, and our society continues to torment LGBT youth so severely that many of them still find death preferable to the lives they lead.

      Jadin's suicide, and the suicide of other LGBT children, is not only a tragedy.  It is also an indictment.  Let's hope that this time, someone will finally be listening.

      "Ça c'est une chanson que j'aurais vraiment aimé ne pas avoir écrite." -- Barbara

      by FogCityJohn on Tue Jan 29, 2013 at 04:46:22 PM PST

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      •  It's Not Just School Torment..... (6+ / 0-)

        It's Facebook & tweeting.  It's online harassment & shunning.

        It seems a good place to start would be on the first day of school w/ an auditorium packed w/ everyone in the school being told it would not be tolerated & that a network had been established to report any torment, any bullying, any & all evidence of shunning or other brutality & on line bullying.

        Parents would be notified.  Suspension would be a consequence & recorded on school records to be attached to grades submitted for college application.

        Start making it hurt, creating a paper trail to follow the bullies where ever & when ever they lurch.  

        •  Good idea... (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          Chrislove, 207wickedgood

          ...but ripe for abuse. You would have to be VERY careful to make sure the teacher's pets didn't use it to twist the story around and convince the grown-ups that the victims were in fact the bullies. You'd be shocked at how easy it is to fool some adults.

          Certaines personnes disent qu'il y a une femme à blâmer, Mais je sais que c'est ma faute sacrément.

          by RamblinDave on Wed Jan 30, 2013 at 04:46:35 AM PST

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    •  I keep telling our mainstreamed autistic son this- (6+ / 0-)

      that he needs to hang in there, through all the confusion and near-bullying and loneliness and rejection, and he needs to make it through middle school and high school and get grades that will let him get into college.  And that in college it will be SO DIFFERENT.  We talk about this a lot.  It really is true, and kids need to hear from people they look up to and who care about them, who tell them this.  To hang in there.  It will get better.  

      That's one more thing to add to my long list of small problems. --my son, age 10

      by concernedamerican on Tue Jan 29, 2013 at 05:44:45 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  From one parent of an autie to another (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Chrislove, 207wickedgood

        My son is not mainstreamed (was, but he wasn't making sufficient progress).  13, still in pull-ups, and functionally non-verbal.  But on most days, I say this mantra to him:

        You are strong, you're handsome,
        you're smart, you're clever
        you're resourceful and you're funny.
        You are
        the best boy
        in the whole
        And I

        He loves it.  I tend to make a big production of saying the words, with gestures.  I've been doing that since he was around 5 years old.

        Ancora Impara--Michelangelo

        by aravir on Wed Jan 30, 2013 at 04:59:49 AM PST

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    •  For some of us, it doesn't (5+ / 0-)

      For years, adults told me "wait until you get to college". When I did, I mostly found a lot of well-adjusted kids who had no idea what it was like to suffer through the dark places I had been in. And this was after a terrific junior and senior year in high school (my family had moved, thank heavens) - but that just wasn't enough time to come to terms with the hell I had been through.

      I have two advanced degrees, and I'm unemployed with maxed out credit cards (though I do have a very promising job interview later this evening!). The sad truth is, it doesn't always get better.

      Certaines personnes disent qu'il y a une femme à blâmer, Mais je sais que c'est ma faute sacrément.

      by RamblinDave on Wed Jan 30, 2013 at 04:44:34 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

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