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View Diary: GUS: Decisions and pics (85 comments)

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  •  I slipped up after five years (6+ / 0-)

    Took my first drag of a cigarette, instantly regretted it, which I'm assuming is a good sign. I was staying out late catching up with an old friend who smokes, drinking wine and remembering the days when smoking used to feel good. It didn't, and I've had no urges since, but I'm hoping for words of encouragement from folks here.

    •  DON"T TRY ANOTHER ONE!!!! That was my mistake! (6+ / 0-)

      Seriously, I tried one after several years not smoking, and nothing happened. So I thought "No big deal. I can try another one the next day." WRONG!!!! I got the full rush and went right back to smoking a pack a day, In ONE DAY!

      I did this twice [idiot] just to make sure.

      There is no they, We will sink or swim together.... We are here to awaken from the illusion of our separateness

      by GDbot on Thu Jan 31, 2013 at 05:59:57 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Oy! The dreaded justone (5+ / 0-)

      Justones are the scourge of quitting. Especially once we forget how bad the addiction is. Good for you for not lighting another one.

      Most of us have done it. I sabotaged more than one quit attempt way. I've gone three years now and I know better.

    •  Don't be hard on yourself at all kat herder (6+ / 0-)

      especially if you stopped at one and loathe the memory.

      Far, far worse things have happened late at night after too much vino.

      •  Thanks, everyone (6+ / 0-)

        I've been so diligent about not ever having a single drag, ever, especially during the more vulnerable times of my quit. And I managed to get to the point where I no longer have cravings.

        Except, apparently, when I've been drinking wine and have been under huge amounts of stress related to being a card-carrying member of the sandwich generation (only child of a parent with Alzheimer's, dealing with a teen acting out in a variety of ways just short of being arrested but not just short of joining the military, plus a tween with ADD, plus a long-term marriage on the skids as a result of all of the above).

        Not that any of that is an excuse, but I really thought I was past the temptation to turn to cigarettes even under extreme stress, which really came to a head last week. I first became a regular smoker in the aftermath of a major life crisis, so I'm a bit disappointed that I wasn't able to weather this perfect storm without giving in, especially after five years.

        Thank you for the kind words of encouragement so far--I've been lurking on DK for years but this was the first list I felt comfortable interacting with. And I've always appreciated and benefitted from the support offered here.

        •  Wow (6+ / 0-)

          My little rant upthread was nothing compared to your stress. For that kind of stress, you are doing amazingly well.  You can certainly pat yourself on the back.

        •  It's so easy to have an "all or nothing" response (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          kat herder, FrugalGranny, anodnhajo

          But as you've figured out, it doesn't have to be that way. You've discovered that periods of high stress and lowered impulse control (thank you, wine!) can result in a single poor decision that you instantly regretted. That doesn't mean you failed; it just means that you need to be on the lookout for similar situations and choose differently next time. Those perfect storms of awful do happen (more often than we'd like, unfortunately!) and as you know, smoking doesn't fix anything...but giving in to the impulse does let you know that you have the ability to survive a slip, recognize it for what it was, and not go back to your old addiction just because you picked up one, one time.

          Sorry you're having a tough time. Glad you showed up to share with us. Hang in there!

          "When did it fall apart? Sometime in the '80s / When the great and the good gave way to the greedy and the mean." - Billy Bragg

          by Vacationland on Fri Feb 01, 2013 at 07:32:42 AM PST

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          •  That's a really helpful way to think about it (3+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            Vacationland, FrugalGranny, anodnhajo

            Thank you for your insights, Vacationland. It helps me feel better about it, and you're right, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. And I do have the lived experience of knowing that cigarettes are anything but a cure-all, and in this case it wasn't even a temporary fix, which at least now I can feel more confident about.  

            •  You're most welcome (3+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              FrugalGranny, kat herder, anodnhajo

              Glad this helped. We're so quick to beat ourselves up and have strong reactions to small blips that it sometimes helps to just strip it down to the basics: what happened? why? did it teach me anything? how will I deal with this next time (because this didn't help)?  

              :-)

              "When did it fall apart? Sometime in the '80s / When the great and the good gave way to the greedy and the mean." - Billy Bragg

              by Vacationland on Fri Feb 01, 2013 at 09:08:52 AM PST

              [ Parent ]

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