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View Diary: "I Won't Mess Up Anymore!", a desperate child pleads (Updated) (151 comments)

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  •  My son was very aggressive when he was younger. (7+ / 0-)

    To the point that I would say that when he was young, we were battered parents. We've had bones broken, stitches, concussions, hair pulled out, glasses broken, bites, bruises, you name it from my son when he was younger.
    Never was he denied food. Never was he handcuffed to anything. I did sometimes use passive restraint methods I'd been taught but those were personal holds and didn't even leave bruises. They were more applying weight which calmed him down. And those were only applied when he was hurting himself or one of us.

    Now he's settled quite a bit over the past five years. We haven't had a physical outburst like that for about 3 years and that was minor and already rare.

    I do sympathize with the difficulties of getting help when you need it. Draco was involuntarily admitted twice when he was younger because he was so out of control even we couldn't handle him. It was a very difficult time, I went into a depression, and everything was MUCH HARDER.

    We've had DCF in and out of our lives over the years because of it. Because there were times when I couldn't keep up with everything and handle him so far as house care goes. Because he would be screaming like someone was killing him when he was the one hurting us. Because he was disabled in a way that wasn't apparent and was developmental and so many people thought we were abusing him or neglecting him. Through all that, there was very little anyone did to help. And every time someone tried to get us help, like home health or house keeping help, DCF wanted to open a case and 'investigate' instead. I was there when my son was 5 and the behavioral program called to find out about getting us help with house work because I was sick and on bed rest for two weeks, and instead of help, they showed up to try and take my child. We fought them tooth and nail and won, but, that was NOT helpful. Nor did I get the prescribed bed rest, and only got sicker.

    But this does not excuse these parents. NEVER was my son or my daughter abused like this. They've always had a roof over their head, even if it was a shelter roof. They've always had food, even if the adults didn't. We didn't use restraints even though our son was abusive and it would have made our lives 'easier'. If we could do it, this family could have done it. But something has to be done concerning how the authorities respond when someone reaches out for help. Instead of help they accuse you of wrong doing, neglect, and abuse. Until you finally stop asking, because you're too afraid of what will happen if you do.

    "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

    by FloridaSNMOM on Wed Feb 06, 2013 at 11:05:50 AM PST

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