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View Diary: If you ugly broads at the Defense Intelligence Agency wear flats and pants, the terrorists have won (209 comments)

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  •  ***Eyeroll*** (4+ / 0-)

    Ms. Fields expresses her concern that traditional standards of womanliness are falling by the wayside:

    O tempore! O mores! Let us beat our appropriateley-foundation-garmented breasts in grief that doting Mamas no longer teach their meek and submissive daughters that their reflection in a mirror is the sum total of their worth! Alas! for the days when the poodle skirt is rejected in favor of the trouser! Bring on the sackcloth and ashes, for Young Ladies today are no longer taught how to properly walk in skirts and dresses (and it shows - just watch any of the younger set of celebrities try to make their way down a red carpet.) Surely the Last Days are upon us when some women prefer ballet flats to 5" spike heels, and Plain Janes stride about in public completely unashamed of their homeliness and associated lack of worth! Repent! Repent, ye unfashionable sinners, for the day of Judgment is coming! Mend your ways, and restore to their proper eminence the girdle and the 1950s bra that makes a woman's bazongas look like artillery shell casings! Wrap yourselves once more in the hallowed shirtwaist dress, which is the true garment of femininity, and repair again to the neighborhood hair salon, true temple of righteous American womanhood! Reject not the mascara and Latisse, for long eyelashes shall be your salvation! Embrace again the bright red lipstick and the rouge pot and the electric blue eyeshadow, that make you pleasing to the eyes of Men! Paint once more your fingernails in womanly colors, for slovenliness is abhorrent to your social and moral superiors! Make you a bonfire of your unfeminine vanities and cast thereon your Doc Martins and your skinny jeans and your greige nail polish and all that doth not pass my judgment, for behold! if you do not please the eyes of Men, wherefore then shall you be married? And if you be not Married, then shall you be an Old Maid and without worth, fit only to be cast out of decent Society!

    The whole point of society is to be less unforgiving than nature. - Arthur D. Hlavaty

    by Alice Venturi on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 01:17:04 PM PST

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