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View Diary: Bookflurries-Bookchat: All for Love (128 comments)

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  •  Joel & Clementine (14+ / 0-)

    One of my favorite films is 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,' with Charlie Kaufman's script coming about as close as anything to capturing what love "is."


    The story is a deconstruction of the romantic comedy genre. For example, Clementine (Kate Winslet) is very much the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl," who the main character believes will save him. However, the film shows how a relationship with the quirky, adventurous, dream girl might not work over the long-run.

    But even as it deconstructs it, the film also builds a meaningful relationship within the surreal nature of the story's premise. The defining act of true love between the characters is a leap of faith in deciding to love one another even in the face of knowing the relationship might be doomed to repeat the same mistakes. The beauty of that is it pretty much defines every relationship.

    When you really get down to it, "Love" is an irrational emotion in which flawed people decide to trust one another, open themselves to vulnerability & humiliation by sharing their lives with someone else, all with the knowledge that everything might go horribly wrong.

    It is somehow simultaneously insane and... beautiful.

    "How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
    The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
    Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
    Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
    "

    -Eloisa to Abelard by Alexander Pope

    •  Thank you!! (16+ / 0-)

      I have not seen the movie, but I love the quotation.

      I wonder, too:

      When you really get down to it, "Love" is an irrational emotion in which flawed people decide to trust one another, open themselves to vulnerability & humiliation by sharing their lives with someone else, all with the knowledge that everything might go horribly wrong.
      Hubby and I have been married for 46 1/2 years and when I look back on how little we had to go on for that leap of faith, I shudder a bit.  

      He was entering grad school expecting a letter from Uncle Sam any minute for Vietnam and I interviewed for a teaching job nearby the college on the day of the wedding rehearsal.

      How do any of us do it, is a good question.  :)  

      Join us at Bookflurries-Bookchat on Wednesday nights 8:00 PM EST

      by cfk on Wed Feb 13, 2013 at 05:43:23 PM PST

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      •  However you did it, it seems you got it right :~) (8+ / 0-)

        Another fine diary, cfk. You always start lots of interesting conversations.

        One salient point I haven't seen raised yet is our Western ideal of one forever miraculous true love (for every Wesley and Buttercup there are 99 couples whose dreams crash against the rocks of adversity) vs. the arranged marriage, where two people may come into it hardly knowing each other, but also expecting to work together as a team instead of just waiting on pixie dust.

        OK, we all of us want the soul-mate forever love. But we all face the danger of dreams of perfection making the merely good seem insufficient. Even true love takes a lot of work.

        "Every man has a right to utter what he thinks truth" Samuel Johnson

        by Brecht on Wed Feb 13, 2013 at 06:32:03 PM PST

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        •  Well said! (8+ / 0-)
          OK, we all of us want the soul-mate forever love. But we all face the danger of dreams of perfection making the merely good seem insufficient. Even true love takes a lot of work.
          Lots and lots of work.  Steve Martin was in a movie where he compared marriage to a roller coaster and I always think of a garden where the end result is nourishment, but it is a lot of work weeding and so forth.

          Join us at Bookflurries-Bookchat on Wednesday nights 8:00 PM EST

          by cfk on Wed Feb 13, 2013 at 06:34:44 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  The garden metaphor gets to the heart of it, both (6+ / 0-)

            the problem and the solution.

            Movies, TV, and books can be dangerous, when they show us these delicious fairytales. Some of them show us the weeding part. But traditionally, they end at the wedding, and it feels like the hard work is done.

            There is this romantic weakness in us all. We know about the weeding, the arguments, the compromises. But we so want to believe in the simple certain magic of a love that will never fail us.

            "Every man has a right to utter what he thinks truth" Samuel Johnson

            by Brecht on Wed Feb 13, 2013 at 06:58:22 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

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