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View Diary: Hoarders: micro and macro-- think of your children (26 comments)

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  •  I am dreading when this issue comes up (1+ / 0-)
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    with my in-laws.  For my Mother, it's over. My sister and I cleared out her home back in 2007, and it was bad. She broke her hip back in 2000, and has been in and out of nursing homes, assisted living, various hospitalizations, since then. My stepfather developed Alzheimer's  in 2001 and was hospitalized, never to return home again. So, in 2007, the house had been sitting since 2000, just as my Mother and Stepfather had left it. One room was floor to ceiling junk, and the rest was not much better. It took us weeks to get it cleaned out, and each one was a trip from Maryland to Florida for me (my husband gave up after the first couple of visits, and I can't say as I blame him). My sister still lives in Florida, so it wasn't quite the disruption for her that is was for me, but she had to do more of the day-to-day dealings with my Mother, who refuses to make positive life choices for herself (long, long story).

    My in-laws are approaching that stage. My Mother-in-law is in a memory care facility for Alzheimer's, and my Father-in-law, while he is still able to care for himself (and spends most of his day with her) is approaching the age where he will need care, too. When that day comes, he'll try to dump stuff on his three children, and I'll have to put my foot down with my husband. We have a nice big house, but we had a flood in the basement that prompted throwing away a U-haul truck's worth of damaged furniture and papers. We had wanted to get the basement redone, since it was mostly empty, but we've ended up storing books and sheet music down there now for a friend of my husband's who is on the verge of losing her home to foreclosure. My husband is quite the clutter bug, so I'm constantly throwing stuff away that he brings home for projects that he gets in the middle of, then loses interest in and starts another. I refuse to live like my Mother, and I don't want my in-law's stuff. I shipped back 8 small boxes (the size of copier paper boxes) from my Mom's house, mostly items I had left in my Mom's garage after college, and even that was too much.

    We have no children, so I'll be having to try to deal with any messes while working past the age of 70. I get tired of it, but I know I'll have to be tactful and diplomatic when the time comes with my in-laws. Athena help me.


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