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View Diary: The Grieving Room: I could never have imagined a day like this (111 comments)

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  •  I have some issues with death and grief. (3+ / 0-)
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    Susan from 29, Mrs M, ladybug53

    Let me tell you a story.

    As a "Catholic" student in a "Catholic" grade school we were required to attend morning mass every "school" day.

    After leaving grade school I attended the local 'Public" high school, as my parents could not afford the tuition for the local "parochial" high school. So I figure I have a good 40 years of Sunday attendance right there.

    I did not attend mass regularly until my father died. When he died, my mother looked so small and vulnerable, I went to church with her for a year or so, just so she would not be alone. After that, I kept going out of habit, and by myself, FYI.

    The last day my (first) wife was alive, she decided to go to mass with me. No special event to note there, except she died after services, and before noon that day, and her last words were about "wanting to give me a 'special birthday present'."

    And that is all memorable, and thanks for your sympathy, but this is all set-up for the point I want to make.

    Even after going to the grade school for 8 years, and attending the same church as an adult for over two years, I was rebuffed when I asked for some grief counselling from my parish.

    I. Got. Nothing.

    And I wondered why. Until this last November. Over 18 years since my (first) wife died, and I found an answer. My mother told my (current) wife, that "Of course they wouldn't (offer grievance counselling) because he (meaning me) wasn't a member. (of the local congregation). I wasn't a member. I wasn't a member.

    I wasn't a member, so I deserved nothing. So much for the parable of the Good Samaritan, and so much for the reputation of the Roman Catholic Church.

    I wasn't a member.

    Happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length. -- Natalie Grant

    by BusyinCA on Tue Feb 12, 2013 at 12:41:24 PM PST

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