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View Diary: Write On! discord and libraries (28 comments)

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  •  Hope things improve! (10+ / 0-)

    I'm sad I didn't make it through the pitch round of the Amazon Breakout Novel contest. I wasn't expecting to make it to far, but I would have REALLY liked a critic on my 3 chapter, which is in the excerpt, to see if someone can tell me why it's falling flat on its face. Ah well.

    The exercise made me think of my favored strategy in getting students to do work when I'm substituting. Pester them with helpfulness.

    And yes, it is more than 150 words. It's all the interruptions!

           Zing! The Insightful Librarian rolled by on her ladder, scrutinizing the books and scrolls.
        “Look quick, before she’s back,” hissed Whelk, shoving Ray to the opposite stack of books.
        “For what?”
        “Map. Through the Antiswamp.”
        “The hell-!” Ray cut off his protest as the librarian returned, sliding down the ladder in a flutter of robes waving several worn scrolls.
        “The Prophecies of Mountains and Seas,” she declared brightly, helpfully.
        Whelk glanced at them and shook his head.
        “These are separate- I need it about prophecies of both, in contrast or compliment.”
        “Ah, hmm. Rarely do those scholars come together. Is there a specific prophecy?”
        “The Togwogmagog Jewel,” Ray stated while Whelk winced.
        “Oh yes! Just arrived!” eagerly she zoomed off.
        “Hurry! Before she gets back,” Whelk hissed.
        “Need to take the map with us,” Whelk pointed to a sign clearly stating removal of library materials would result in organ removal, “She’s hovering over us like-“
        “Found it!” she returned on the other side, “Did you know that the Jewel isn’t properly a Jewel until it has procreated?”
        “How does a rock procreate?” Ray blinked innocently at her.
        “It’s fascinating! Be back in a poke. Have one with pictures.”
        “Would that be part of the reason we have to rescue Honra from that swamp, with transom trees, alligators and grouchy grebes?” hissed Ray.
        “That and I’ll be disowned if-“
        Ray stuck a hand over Whelk’s mouth as the librarian came back trailing a scroll of diagrams.
        “You’ll never take a rock for granite again!” she chirped.

    I am much too liberal to be a Democrat.

    by WiseFerret on Thu Feb 14, 2013 at 05:44:56 PM PST

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