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View Diary: Despite What Forced Birthers Claim, Pro-Choice Means Defending the Choice NOT to Have An Abortion (123 comments)

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  •  THIS is my point, that my friend supports all (1+ / 0-)
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    marykk

    women having a choice, even if she disagreed with her daughter's. Parents can disagree with their grown children's choices even while they demand that they be given that choice.

    I'm a Democrat - I believe that government has a positive role to play in the lives of ordinary people.

    by 1BQ on Mon Feb 18, 2013 at 07:38:43 PM PST

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    •  Yes but the notion that she disagrees with it for (2+ / 0-)
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      splashy, marykk

      herself AND her family is the problem.  There's a strong element of coercion there when you add the "And family" bit.  You may not see it, but I do--because I had Catholic parents who would NOT have supported that decision. They wanted abortion legal--but not for me.

      I chose not to have kids.  But if I had, I'd have sat down and discussed birth control and sex frankly--I know I'd do this because when I was in college I had a surrogate  "little sister" with whom I had this discussion and told her flatout that if she became sexually active, she needed at least to use condoms for STIs as well as birth control--but the Pill was a better choice for pregnancy prevention.  This was 71, BEFORE ROe, so we didn't discuss abortion--but after 73, I'd have held her hand if she needed one.

      The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

      by irishwitch on Mon Feb 18, 2013 at 08:25:07 PM PST

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      •  I guess you didn't read my original comment. Even (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Naniboujou

        though she didn't want her daughter to have an abortion, when her daughter insisted, my friend not only paid for the procedure, she took her daughter to the doctor's office and stayed with her. She overcame, or disregarded, her own objections in order to support her daughter. I think that's admirable, although I would have preferred that she not object to begin with.

        I think that family, and even friends, have the right to hold their own opinions and to voice them. They just don't have the right to prevent a woman from exercising her own right to a safe, legal abortion. But no one is obligated to support a woman's decision to abort. Although we'd like everyone to be pro-choice and open-minded about exercising that choice, that's not the world we live in. We'll keep working on that :-)

        I'm a Democrat - I believe that government has a positive role to play in the lives of ordinary people.

        by 1BQ on Mon Feb 18, 2013 at 09:14:03 PM PST

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        •  I read the comment. (0+ / 0-)

          I stand by what I said.  There is still a strong element of coercion in it when she said she was fine with abortions for others but not for her AND HER FAMILY. Yes, she changed her mind in the end. But in her mind she still had the right to make the decision for her family as well as herself.

          I tend to think family and friends should keep their opinions to themselves unless they are requested. I will assume the daughter requested the opinion.

          The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

          by irishwitch on Tue Feb 19, 2013 at 11:02:52 AM PST

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      •  I had catholic parents too (2+ / 0-)
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        Naniboujou, Ahianne

        There is a difference between accepting someone's choice and condoning it.

        There are not degrees of being prochoice depending on one's enthusiasm for choosing abortion. Or on their quickness to label every reason for abortion as morally right.

        I'd be exactly as this mother. It is much easier to be prochoice when you're not ever put to the test. When real life hands you a test such as a daughter getting pregnant when she doesn't want to be...well, that is when you EARN your prochoice badge. This mother definitely did. Had the daughter given the child up for adoption against her mother's wish but the mother stayed with her in the hospital and delivery...same thing.

        Acceptance of our ability to choose for ourselves is ALL that is required for labeling ourselves prochoice. Kudos to anyone whose belief in this is tested in real life and comes through it even when their heart is breaking.

        •  I was put to the test. (0+ / 0-)

          I knew my parents and I chose to go it alone. Becuase I KNEW what their reactions to be. I knew because a close friend got pregnant and put the baby up for asoption. They approved heartily. They did NOT approve at all when I told them I'd accompanied another friend back in 70 to get the early version of Plan B--basically the Pill with instructions.  My father was very inflexible, and he would not have forgiven me. Hell when I was 29 and chose to marry a divorced man without getting the church approval and was married out of the church--even though I hadn't been a Catholic for years--he almost didn't forgive THAT.

          Have YOU ever had to make the choice for yourself?

          The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

          by irishwitch on Tue Feb 19, 2013 at 11:06:39 AM PST

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