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View Diary: Don't Rape (trigger warning) (41 comments)

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  •  One of the worst cases (4+ / 0-)

    I ever ran across when I helped with those who did this was a college freshman and her boyfriend who went out, and started fooling around.  

    Things got going (petting, oral), but while she was performing she started she began to panic.

    She felt as though something was very wrong and didn't feel comfortable.   She had reportedly said she just needed to stop, she wasn't comfortable..   Long story short, he lost control and very bad things happened.

    Someone had argued at that time that because there was no vaginal penetration it wasn't rape.   It was.   It was a forced sex act with an unwilling participant.  That's rape.

    What never gets me with guys is what the fuck is the deal?   Once, in my whole life, a girl asked to "stop".  (In that case, it turned out, she was sick from something at dinner, ran off and vomitted in a hurry.. which ended up making for major cleanup of my bathroom).

    Here's what I can tell you: if you RESPECT your partner, and they know you RESPECT them, it comes back to you.  Being willing to stop because she didn't felt well led to weeks of pretty good vibes for that relationship.   When guys are in that situation, here's what I tell them: Do the RIGHT thing, because you'll be remembered well for it.   Be a jerk, and you'll find yourself behind bars.

    Gandhi's Seven Sins: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Knowledge without character; Commerce without morality; Science without humanity; Worship without sacrifice; Politics without principle

    by Chris Reeves on Tue Feb 19, 2013 at 01:21:15 PM PST

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