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View Diary: Don't Rape (trigger warning) (41 comments)

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  •  Disagree with most (2+ / 0-)
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    Chi, Tonedevil

    I will tell you, most men I have worked with - and people who have helped with battered women and childrens shelters will tell you it absolutely is not us.   Rape sickens us, and people who are rapists are scumbags.

    I don't think most men don't view rape is wrong.

    Just too many men don't... and even though that's a real minority it's still too many.

    We also dismiss women who have committed acts of rape (it does, in fact, happen, and I can give anecdotal and statistical evidence) men who rape men, and adults who molest children.

    Too many.   But it's not a "most" of either gender.

    Gandhi's Seven Sins: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Knowledge without character; Commerce without morality; Science without humanity; Worship without sacrifice; Politics without principle

    by Chris Reeves on Tue Feb 19, 2013 at 02:40:11 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  I'm trying to find the link to the survey, (0+ / 0-)

      it was done by a credible source.

      The problem isn't that men don't think rape is bad.  I should have explained myself better.  They don't identify rape as being rape.  We teach "no means no."  Well that's great, but then men start to assume that if she didn't say "no" then she meant "yes" even if she never says "yes."  Which is why we need to teach a consent model of "yes means yes" as opposed to "no means no."  It is still important to teach men and women about this stupid idea that she's supposed to resist to be a "good girl" or whatever (which is where I think "no means no" comes from).  

      "I don't want a unicorn. I want a fucking pegasus. And I want it to carry a flaming sword." -mahakali overdrive

      by Silvia Nightshade on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 04:27:35 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Three sources: (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Silvia Nightshade

        Koss M.P., Hidden rape: sexual aggression and victimization in a national sample of students in higher education. In: Burgess A.W., ed Rape and Sexual Assault. New York, NY: Garland Publishing: 1988;2:3-25.

        another is:

        White, Jacqueline W. and John A. Humphrey. "Young People's Attitudes Toward Acquaintance Rape." Acquaintance Rape: The Hidden crime." John Wiley and Sons, 1991.

        another is:

        Rapaport, Karen R. and C. Dale Posey. Sexually Coercive College Males. Acquaintance Rape: The Hidden Crime, edited by Andrea Parrot. John Wiley and Sons, 1991.

    •  Here are some studies: (0+ / 0-)

      Koss M.P., Hidden rape: sexual aggression and victimization in a national sample of students in higher education. In: Burgess A.W., ed Rape and Sexual Assault. New York, NY: Garland Publishing: 1988;2:3-25.

      White, Jacqueline W. and John A. Humphrey. "Young People's Attitudes Toward Acquaintance Rape." Acquaintance Rape: The Hidden crime." John Wiley and Sons, 1991.

      The following source said over forty percent of college men admitted to using coercive behavior to get sex, including ignoring "no", using physical aggression, and forcing intercourse. FORTY PERCENT. That is beyond unacceptable even if the other sixty percent don't rape. It means 4 out of 10 do. That is fucking bullshit.

      Rapaport, Karen R. and C. Dale Posey. Sexually Coercive College Males. Acquaintance Rape: The Hidden Crime, edited by Andrea Parrot. John Wiley and Sons, 1991.

      In the next two, over 30% of college men surveyed said if they knew they could get away with it, they would rape someone:

      Koss M.P., Dinero, T.E., Seibel, C.A. Stranger and acquaintance rape: Are there differences in the victim's experience? Psychology of Women Quarterly. 1988:12:1-24.

      Malamuth N.M. Rape proclivity among males. J Soc Issues. 1981;37:138-157.

      •  why does it seem like coervice behavior (0+ / 0-)

        sounds like begging or guilting her into having pity sex or claiming that he's the son of some super rich guy? If that's the case I'd blame the girl for falling for the most pathetic and oldest tactics in the book and actually consenting.

        •  No, the study defines coercive behavior (0+ / 0-)

          quite clearly as intimidation and use of physical force.

          That isn't the same as acting like you're The Game in a bar. That you'd conflate the two is troubling.

          You said the air was singing / it's calling you, you don't believe / These things you've never seen / Never heard, never dreamed.

          by CayceP on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 05:24:56 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

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