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View Diary: Hey, ladies, want to catch a man? Stop being whores and put down that sword (361 comments)

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  •  I don't think you're going to get blasted, because (7+ / 0-)

    you said 'should go both ways' which is true for 3 & 4. On 2, I suppose it depends on your preferences...being with an aggressive woman can be pretty sweet =)

    I see what you did there.

    by GoGoGoEverton on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 08:50:03 AM PST

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    •  while in a relationship (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      La Gitane, The Marti

      i completely agree.

      i've never argued with a woman who knows what she wants.

      i was simply trying to point out that if it happens before the relationship, such as during a first meeting, it can be a turnoff.

      •  That's patronizing though, isn't it? (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        irishwitch, La Gitane, kyril

        Giving out relationship or dating or sex or whatever advice? Frankly having a girl hit on me in a bar is not the worst thing that's ever happened. It may not be for everyone but it's definitely for some people.

        I see what you did there.

        by GoGoGoEverton on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 11:43:48 AM PST

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        •  I think it works for some people (7+ / 0-)

          I used to be that girl.  But all it got me were guys that never wanted to make an effort.  Never wanted to go out, never wanted to dress up.

          I'm 44 years old, been married and had several serious relationships, but a man has never given me jewelry, and I can count the times I've received flowers from a man on one hand (not including the thumb). I even had to buy my own wedding ring.

          So, now I've decided that after 25 years of going after the guy, I'm going to let the guy do a little more work.  In the beginning - believe me, I like to put effort into a relationship.  I love cooking dinners, giving little gifts and surprises every now and then, but I want the same in return.  And I think that my aggressive behavior in the beginning has been getting me men that expect that behavior to continue as a one way street forever.  It is tough being an intelligent, independent woman.  I also work in a field that is 12% women.  A lot of men are intimidated by that.

          I don't know.... hell, this is starting to sound like OprahKos or something.  ;)

          "Mediocrity cannot know excellence." -- Sherlock Holmes

          by La Gitane on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 12:24:51 PM PST

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          •  It's hard to date inside a company too. (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            La Gitane, kyril

            Hopefully you would have better luck at professional organizations. But without sounding like a Beta, there's also the worry that if you asked a female out in any sort of a professional setting, the take would be 'oh you don't respect me as a coworker/peer???' And that happens rarely, but still.

            I see what you did there.

            by GoGoGoEverton on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 12:27:56 PM PST

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            •  Oh, I don't look for romance (1+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              kyril

              on the job site.  There are definitely opportunities, but that is definitely a bad idea.

              I wouldn't mind a fellow architect, but the guys at my age that are single are typically single because they want to be.

              "Mediocrity cannot know excellence." -- Sherlock Holmes

              by La Gitane on Wed Feb 20, 2013 at 12:32:36 PM PST

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