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View Diary: Tackling the pervasive stigma of bisexuality (104 comments)

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  •  thank you for your courage in bringing out this (5+ / 0-)

    issue.  People fear the unknown and the new and hate anything which lies outside their province of experience.  Add to this a lack of sex education in our schools and the preponderance of religious education, not only in religious institutions but in schools, media and everday life.

    Growing up in the 50s, I learned sex from the customary sources, the street, peers and what i could piece together.  Issues of homosexuality and bisexuality never came up except when someone was called out with derision as being one of the two, which usually ended with a fist fight (and even a few knife fights; we were idiots)

    Today things have changed to some extent but years of GOP control has left us mired in 50s morality and ignorance.  Therefore, the old fear is still here, uneducated and hating and we are as much in the closet in some ways as we were in the 50's when growing up with an attraction to both sexes was not something you admitted and something you denied

    •  Most of what I know about bisexuality... (6+ / 0-)

      ...I learned from my wife.

      It's really apparent that the hatred for minorities stems from fear and ignorance. Nothing gets a Republican to turn liberal on an issue faster than a family member being affected. My upbringing was as conservative and religious as anybody's, but I found once I got in the real world and met people who were actually gay (or liberal) that the descriptions of the fearful "Christians" who taught me bigotry were a load of bunk.

      We're doing an anti-Westboro Baptist documentary. Help us here.

      by Geiiga on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 11:19:21 AM PST

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      •  It's still boggling to think you were ever Repub. (5+ / 0-)

        And whenever you can humanize something, people usually understand it better. It's easier to judge abstractions that happen to other people, not so much when it's happening to loved ones.

        We're conducting an experiment in filmmaking as civil rights activism in The Tolerance Project. Help us combat Westboro Baptist! http://kck.st/156XjPE

        by MrsGeiiga on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 11:56:42 AM PST

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    •  It amazes me some of the things they teach here (9+ / 0-)

      Like when my daughter had to tell her social studies teacher that she was wrong, that Obama IS a citizen, and this should not be up for debate.

      ...Of course, in saying that, I realize she's probably ready to handle my sexuality. But her teacher would not be able to handle it at all.

      We're conducting an experiment in filmmaking as civil rights activism in The Tolerance Project. Help us combat Westboro Baptist! http://kck.st/156XjPE

      by MrsGeiiga on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 11:24:07 AM PST

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    •  I think things are miles better than you say... (7+ / 0-)

      Attitudes about homosexuality are changing pretty rapidly. When I graduated high school in Iowa in 2005, there was one openly gay guy in my class of 650+ and several other guys who were known to be bi (myself included). Since then, all of the bi-identified guys have come out as gay, and some people who'd never pinged at all on my gaydar have come out as bisexual.

      Now, when my sister graduated in 2010, one of the speakers at her commencement mentioned his boyfriend, which was met with applause. Just her circle of high school friends included several openly gay and bi people. This is anecdotal, but no one in my generation (Millennials) seems to care about anyone else's sexuality. And I only see this attitude getting more and more prevalent, rather than the opposite.

      "In an individual, selfishness uglifies the soul; for the human species, selfishness is extinction." -Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell

      by rigcath on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 11:34:56 AM PST

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      •  give it time; even enlightened people can (6+ / 0-)

        change and when there is an opportunity which depends upon bashing minorities or gays or whatever, many people will choose the opportunity over principle.

        I would venture a guess that in your locale, even if there is a "gay scene' that it remains sequestered.  This is the way it has always been, whether the basis of minority or sexuality is used to discriminate.

        Sequestration is an old issue as some of us remember Stonewall and the riots
        http://en.wikipedia.org/...

        •  Not really. (6+ / 0-)

          I don't think there's much of a "gay scene" here anymore, at least nowhere near the extent of what it was even ten years ago; not because it's hidden or sequestered or dying, but because the gay community is gradually integrating into the culture at large. Gay bars in general seem to be struggling--it seems like at least one major, culturally significant gay bar somewhere in the US closes every week--because as straight people come to accept us more and more, the demand for a "safe space" for LGBT people to congregate is shrinking rapidly.

          "In an individual, selfishness uglifies the soul; for the human species, selfishness is extinction." -Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell

          by rigcath on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 12:03:56 PM PST

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          •  as far as gay bars, they have always existed (4+ / 0-)

            going back as far as the 1900s; they just did not advertise themselves as such but everyone knew what they were and they were more likely to have morality raids by the cops.  They were just underground

          •  I suspect that the closing of gay bars owes more (4+ / 0-)

            to grindr and scruff than to gays "integrating in the culture at large".  But I agree that tolerance and acceptance are on the rise, and that is wonderful.

            •  When I was single... (2+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              JeffW, NancyWH

              I chose to try to meet people through online dating, because I was more comfortable being "out" in that environment. I could look at the profiles, see their declared sexuality ("Interested in"), and start a conversation after that. I knew I was open to having a relationship with a woman, but I also had no idea how to go about meeting women in public here. Ideally, someday we won't need special places for the LGBT community to meet up here, but for now, it's a pretty hostile environment.

              We're conducting an experiment in filmmaking as civil rights activism in The Tolerance Project. Help us combat Westboro Baptist here.

              by MrsGeiiga on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 01:15:54 PM PST

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        •  It's a little better in Lawrence, still abysmal (6+ / 0-)

          As part of our pre-production work for The Tolerance Project, we were going to reach out to local LGBT organizations in Topeka, only to find that there are no such places--only online chapters of national organizations. Lawrence has some resources, including LGBT clubs at the University of Kansas, but for those who are LGBT in Topeka, there are basically no local outreach organizations. We really want to change that down the road.

          We're conducting an experiment in filmmaking as civil rights activism in The Tolerance Project. Help us combat Westboro Baptist! http://kck.st/156XjPE

          by MrsGeiiga on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 12:11:30 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

      •  Perhaps my perception is skewed (5+ / 0-)

        Since Westboro Baptist is practically in our backyard. Okay, so they're 30 minutes away from our house, but that's WAY too close.

        We're conducting an experiment in filmmaking as civil rights activism in The Tolerance Project. Help us combat Westboro Baptist! http://kck.st/156XjPE

        by MrsGeiiga on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 11:58:28 AM PST

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        •  True, geography does matter... (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          MrsGeiiga, Cassandra Waites, NancyWH

          Kansas is not going to see the same social patterns as the biggest city in a state that's stubbornly refused to become a fiery hellhole after gay marriage was legalized a few years ago. But I think it's clear that momentum is toward progress even in the least progressive places, and it's courageous people like you, choosing to be open about your sexuality, who have the biggest impact.

          "In an individual, selfishness uglifies the soul; for the human species, selfishness is extinction." -Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell

          by rigcath on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 12:16:37 PM PST

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          •  I was scared, but knew I had to do it (3+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            rigcath, Cassandra Waites, NancyWH

            The Phelpses have already taken notice of our Kickstarter, so I didn't really want to add more fuel to their fire, but my sexuality is a big part of why I'm so enthusiastic about our film project. It didn't seem right for me to keep my own sexuality hidden when that's precisely why I feel it's so important for my husband and me to take on this project.

            We're conducting an experiment in filmmaking as civil rights activism in The Tolerance Project. Help us combat Westboro Baptist! http://kck.st/156XjPE

            by MrsGeiiga on Thu Feb 21, 2013 at 12:23:01 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

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