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View Diary: Worst Funeral, Ever. (112 comments)

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  •  As a pastor I always remember (24+ / 0-)

    My own mother's comments when she'd attend a funeral.  Nothing made her more indignant than a pastor who spent the time preaching, sometimes never mentioning the person who'd died.   They were just used as a "prop".  "If I wanted to hear a sermon from that preacher I'd go to church on Sunday!"

    I always try to celebrate the life of the person while giving comfort and honor to those left behind.   Sometimes following the wishes of the person and/or spouse is not the best for the rest of the family.

    I'm sorry your mother didn't accept you.   Sounds like she missed out on a good thing.

    "Because inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened." -Terry Pratchett

    by revsue on Sat Mar 02, 2013 at 06:50:53 AM PST

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    •  comfort and honor (15+ / 0-)

      funerals are for the living.  they deserve to hear something that will help them walk the difficult path of grief.

      this funeral as described here, with product placements, typos in the death date, and not mentioning the children, is so utterly thoughtless i can;t get my mind around it.

      Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D.
      Drop by The Grieving Room on Monday nights for support in dealing with grief.

      by TrueBlueMajority on Sat Mar 02, 2013 at 07:08:25 AM PST

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    •  The two best funerals I attended... (19+ / 0-)

      ... had the deceased's voice prominently featured in it, in one case literally.

      The husband of a friend of mine suddenly died of an aneurysm. Three days prior he had attended his granddaughter's wedding, and during a pre-wedding gathering, someone had asked him to sing "Danny Boy" (he was an Irish tenor) and recorded him with a cell phone.

      The video turned out really good and was used in the memorial service. All of a sudden, there was John on the screen, singing "Danny Boy," like he had done so many times. Not a dry eye in the house, of course, but it was comforting to everybody there to hear him one more time.

      The other service was for Erna, a woman at my church who was estranged from her family (I don't know why; I do know that at one point in her life she was homeless), so her friends (one of whom was the pastor) put the service together. The Sunday before, the pastor encouraged the congregation to be there if at all possible.

      Erna died after having been run over by a car, so fortunately no open casket. Instead, several of the pictures she had painted (she taught art at an adult daycare center) were on display.

      The eulogy consisted of the reading of letters she had written to the pastor. Due to Erna's deafness, not many people had been able to have lengthy conversations with her, so most people were surprised how funny yet profound those letters were.

      In the pew behind me sat a lady with a three-legged dog wearing a velvet dress and a pearl necklace (no misplaced modifier here, the dog had on the outfit). I asked her if that was Erna's dog, and the woman answered, "Actually she's my dog, but Erna would have disagreed."

      As the photos that the lady (the owner of the art supply store Erna had frequented) had with her showed, Erna had befriended the dog and let her sit in her lap and ride in her wheelchair.

      Since many of the mourners were mentally disabled and lived in nursing homes and similar facilities, by attending the noon funeral, they would miss their lunch. So the church provided barbecue after the service. It was a great success.

      The congregation members that came decided we should have BBQ every time now, so that's become a tradition. Unless the family requests otherwise, BBQ it is.

      For a church event that's coming up in April, the poster is based on one of Erna's paintings.

      261.A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. -Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

      by MaikeH on Sat Mar 02, 2013 at 08:13:06 AM PST

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