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View Diary: GFHC: From the Extended Family Tree - The End of a Branch (26 comments)

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  •  It has its' ups and downs (5+ / 0-)

    In about 1952, my parents and I moved to Mexico City. Later I got a job as a stewardess which only got the parental blessing because I would fly in to D.F. at least 1x a month.

    Then I got married. From then on, I lived mostly a plane ride away from close relatives except for a few years when my brother lived in California. My grandmother's sister lived in LA so I used to see her a couple of times a year. She was fun.

    I ended up having to plan her funeral which from my pov was a scene out of an old movie..."Dearly Beloved"? Crazy Englishman director.

    Up until a couple of years ago, I had my Godmother (mom's sister) up in Carmel. I was so happy to have significant time with her up until her death. Bitter sweet - having all that history was a blessing. As she drifted backward in time, she thought I was my mother so I was able to be in the moment with her because I knew  many of the things she was referencing. As often happens though, I've lost touch with her son. Reason unknown.

    As the circle closes, I am madly happy to have my two children, grandkids and the young 'great' close by.

    •  "The Loved One" (5+ / 0-)

      was the movie I tried to reference - not "Dearly Beloved". Tony Richardson, director. A comedy about the funeral business.

      •  Sounds fun (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Jim H, edwardssl

        I will try to track that down.

        I'm happy to hear you've got everyone close by. My dad moved to NJ over 20 years for a job opportunity and "got stuck." My brother and sister went to high school/college there and stayed. He's got a girlfriend now who's lived there forever, and her son is there too. Me, I didn't care for it and got out.

        To tell the truth, I think he feels more comfortable in the NY area than here. He served in Vietnam and, when he returned, took his G.I. Bill money down to NYC to go to college. It was liberating to get away from his parents, who were kind of tough on him. He met my mom in NYC and we were born there before moving back up here.

        My mom liked the area but didn't like being near his family rather than hers. They were tough on her too. So when a job down there came up, they grabbed it, mostly to my chagrin. Now I'm spending time with the cousins up here and hoping to have kids who don't move away.

        Republicans...think the American standard of living is a fine thing--so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire the Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it. Harry S. Truman

        by fenway49 on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 06:36:04 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •   Born and raised in NJ (3+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          fenway49, Jim H, edwardssl

          I too recall friction between mom and her mother-in-law. Living under the same roof for 15+years was not a day in the park and the tension of words unsaid could be stifling. Dad was everyone's peacemaker.

          I can see now why our grandparents as immigrants depended on the close circle of family. Genealogy has given me  the ability to see things in a different light.

          I hated the whole idea of moving to Mexico - yet it proved to be the path to finding myself.

          •  Where in NJ? (3+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            brook, Jim H, edwardssl

            My family there is in the general New Brunswick and Princeton area

            Republicans...think the American standard of living is a fine thing--so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire the Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it. Harry S. Truman

            by fenway49 on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 10:34:15 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

            •  Up north a bit... (3+ / 0-)
              Recommended by:
              Jim H, edwardssl, fenway49

              Bergen County. We always spent part and later, all of the summer down at the shore but my entire life before Mexico revolved around Englewood.

              Later my parents lived in Teaneck (post Mexico) later returning from Venezuela, in Chatham, before decamping for Florida where they died.

              No one's left in Bergen County - most of the cousins
              on Mom's side having spread back up to New England -Vermont and Mass. Those from Dad's side are all in Florida except one in Ga.

              My brother's in Tx. and we just recently faced up to the fact we will never see one another again. We've become the closest we ever were in the last few years - so that was necessary but tough to acknowledge.

              I don't know the New Brunswick area - but I did spend a hilarious (if you're 17) weekend in Princeton once. ;-)

              Oh and there were a few weeks on a chicken-hatching farm in Vineland after Uncle Martin, grandma's brother, lit a new heater in the sheds which unfortunately blew him and most of the eggs to an early Heavenly reward.

              •  Interesting (2+ / 0-)
                Recommended by:
                brook, Jim H

                I've had some friends in/from Englewood and Teaneck. Chatham too, to think about it. Vineland is a different story. A different world down there. The name came from a short-lived Swedish colony on each side of the Delaware Bay in the 1600s.

                New Brunswick is a small city (40,000?) with some pockets of poverty, but also the home of Rutgers and Johnson & Johnson Pharma. A lot of pharmaceuticals in that area, a lot of office parks, malls, car dealers, etc. And an increasingly diverse population. I'm told the area was still quite rural in the 1950s or so, but it's grown dramatically in the past 30 years.

                It sad that you won't see you brother again, but all this technology makes it possible to have a relationship anyway. It's better to be close now and not see each other, than see each other twice a year and not feel close.

                Republicans...think the American standard of living is a fine thing--so long as it doesn't spread to all the people. And they admire the Government of the United States so much that they would like to buy it. Harry S. Truman

                by fenway49 on Thu Mar 07, 2013 at 06:15:01 AM PST

                [ Parent ]

                •  I had to look at maps... (1+ / 0-)
                  Recommended by:
                  Jim H

                  which reminded me that my Uncle-Godfather lived near Princeton in Cranbury after he retired. I was there just for a few days to attend a young cousin's funeral in Pa. I'd completely forgotten about this. Makes me think that tranquility in old age is the up-side of memory loss.

                  I liked Chatham very much. I'd sent the children there to stay with my parents while I packed up the house in California. We were moving to NYC to be closer to my husband who was spending the greater portion of 1963 in Austria.  He came to NYC periodically to his company's HQ.  

                  I found us a swell apt./hotel on East side between Madison and Fifth - I loved the phone # - Butterfield 8! and the kids, the cat, the turtles,the nursemaid and I settled in. My daughter went off to first-grade and my son would tool around the city with his spanish nursemaid. At night he'd complain about being "tired from 'terping all day". I went to plays like "Luther", "What Became of Virginia Woolf".

                  Weekends meant a train ride out to quaint little Chatham with it's trees and paths thru the woods just across the street and sometimes enough snow for us to drag out the sled. The three of us retain good memories of Chatham.

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