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View Diary: My Ex-Husband Is Homeless (91 comments)

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  •  it's not your fault he's homeless (11+ / 0-)

    does he get the credit for how good your life is? why do you have the blame for what a mess his is?

    i think this might be why things aren't working out- his approach to transactions:

    Initially, I thought his driving or walking past Do Not Enter signs showed his sense of curiosity and adventure—a bit of that wild side that I found so exciting. But years later, when we were entering an outdoor festival with our daughters and I was reaching for my wallet, he suggested we walk around the entrance where he spied an opening. I looked at him in disgust and walked up to the ticket table and bought four tickets.
    maybe his bosses, coworkers, and clients don't like working w/ someone who is always trying to run a scam or break the law. sneaking in w/out paying is breaking the law. if he does that in one area of his life he's doing it in other areas, too.

    i'm sorry for your husband's troubles, i really am.

    have you ever read Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds Of Angry and Controlling Men? i think there's a lot in there that will help you.

    xoxo

    "...i also also want a legally binding apology." -George Rockwell

    by thankgodforairamerica on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 10:13:46 AM PST

    •  That book saved my life. (3+ / 0-)

      It really brought understanding and helped me let go of (most of) the guilt over what a mess his life became after destroying mine was out of his reach.

      I still feel a slight tinge of guilt, because I know he is suffering, but he had no compassion when I suffered, and I repeat this to myself.

      Thank you for sharing this story.  You are NOT to blame.

      Yes, we as a society need to care for everyone.  Make sure everyone has food to eat and a place to sleep and preferable work if they can work.  But you did not cause the recession.  And you did not end your marriage, even though it was you who filed for divorce.

      Best to you.

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