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View Diary: My Ex-Husband Is Homeless (91 comments)

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  •  the not knowing is the hardest (3+ / 0-)

    I can't imagine what it must be like for your daughters to not know where their father is or how he is doing.  

    One of my sons is homeless and it breaks my heart.  I can't help him; I'm not sure he wants to help himself.  He's really intelligent, but also has some mental issues.  He lost his job and wasn't making it on his own and after a time my ex and I got tired of helping him out financially.  He moved to California to be near a friend and ended up homeless, living out of his car.    

    There have been weeks when I didn't hear from him.  My biggest fear was that he would get arrested for parking his car where he shouldn't or something.  I was going on a California website where you could do a county by county search to see if someone has been arrested.  I wouldn't find him, and would feel relieved.   I wondered if I should be searching news articles to see if there were any unidentified bodies.  Your mind goes to dark places, when you don't know.

    I would send him R U Alive?" emails.   Finally, I would get a response.

    He's in Hawaii now.  Sleeping under a tarp, after selling his car.  I guess it's easier to be homeless in Hawaii than in California.  

    I pray for him and I say the Serenity prayer every day to remind myself that I have no control over his actions (or lack of actions).  I have to accept that - as hard as that is.

    I feel your pain.  I'm sad for your daughters.  But feeling guilty won't help you or your daughters.  He made choices that you had no control over.

    Take care.  

     

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