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View Diary: Shocking! Catholics don't care what their Church says about ... anything (218 comments)

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  •  Actually, if you look at abuse statistics in this (26+ / 0-)

    country, you should never leave a young child alone with anyone - priest, coach, neighbor, bus driver, teacher - you name it.  I sure as hell didn't.

    "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

    by MRA NY on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 01:05:10 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  That seems a little extreme to me. (10+ / 0-)

      Going through the world assuming that NO ONE can or should ever be trusted (and there's really no reason that family members should be exempt from your list above) strikes me as being harmful in and of itself.  

      "The extinction of the human race will come from its inability to EMOTIONALLY comprehend the exponential function." -- Edward Teller

      by lgmcp on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 01:33:40 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  LOL. It is harmful not to trust people with your (9+ / 0-)

        child? I'd rather endure that harm than the alternative.  And I guess I should have been more specific - she was left with some people, but a limited, very trusted list.

        You do have one point right - family members should have been on the list.  There certainly were a couple I not only did not leave my daughter alone with, but recommended the same to my sister.

        But she stayed with other family members.  And with certain friends.  And she was in various day care settings, both group and family day care - always certified.  

        And it really is not all that much of an imposition - 'harmfully' noticeable, as you indicate - to protect your child.  Most people - teachers, coaches, bus drivers - etc. generally have kids in their custody in group settings.  

        In any and every instance where your child is expected to be alone with someone, it should not rely on guesswork whether that person can be trusted - you have to know, or you don't leave them there.

        "Don't Bet Against Us" - President Barack Obama

        by MRA NY on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 01:44:29 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Trust NO ONE! (10+ / 0-)

          I recently took my grandchildren - a boy and 2 girls - for a week in New York and I assume - I HOPE - my daughter-in-law had a talk with them before we left about protecting themselves: all three of them, for what it's worth.

          They all had cell phones beside their beds and everything went very well with us all sharing a room and a good time was had by all.

          Happily, I have no predilections towards children of either sex and certainly not for my own grandchildren. But I am the only person who knows that. I'm happy that my son and d-in-l 'trusted', but I would be disappointed if they didn't add a Reaganesque 'verify' to that.

          Children - most of all, my grandchildren - are too precious to put at risk.

          Too late for the simple life, too early for android love slaves - Savio

          by Clem Yeobright on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 02:08:38 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  Trust the ones you practically have to (1+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            LilithGardener

            beg to watch your kids. If they are too eager that's when you might want to think twice.

            There are two types of republicans, the rich and the stupid. The rich ones strive to keep the stupid ones stupid and the stupid ones strive to keep the rich ones rich.

            by frankzappatista on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 03:05:13 PM PST

            [ Parent ]

          •  Good attitude (8+ / 0-)

            I feel sort of the same way about interns and volunteers, and especially program participants in a social services agency. There's a bright line - not even a hint of sexual behavior or harassement toward interns, volunteers and especially not on program participants.  And it's safer for everyone concerned to have the rules clear, have the door to the office open, set up systems and transparency to assure that there's no possibillity of anything like that happening.  Sadly, it still sometimes happens and I had to deal with an issue with a volunteer sexually harassing a program participant not long ago.  Zero tolerance, immediate reporting... only way to handle it.  

            It makes sense for parents to have systems in place, just as it makes sense for legal and social services programs to have systems in place, and there's no insult in sticking to those policies.

            “If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin.” Charles Darwin

            by ivorybill on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 03:56:12 PM PST

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      •  Predators rely on exactly that (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        rbird, tobendaro, Oh Mary Oh, Penny GC

        And are very good a grooming both family members and the potential victim by first becoming someone they trust.

        "They did not succeed in taking away our voice" - Angelique Kidjo - Opening the Lightning In a Bottle concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York City - 2003

        by LilithGardener on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 08:03:17 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  Living in the great southern Piedmont (mostly very (12+ / 0-)

      Protestant) I remember a psychologist who worked in family court telling me that the great majority of child-abuse cases she had seen involved ministers or "youth leaders" or choir directors.

      The predators go where the prey i

      Fiscal conservative: a Republican ready to spend $5 to save a dime--especially if that dime is helping a non-donor.

      by Mayfly on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 03:19:18 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  The solution is to turn it upside down (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      koosah, Penny GC

      It's the adults who can never be alone with a child.

      Adults have to be in pairs, or the children have to be in a group.

      No single adult/single child

      "They did not succeed in taking away our voice" - Angelique Kidjo - Opening the Lightning In a Bottle concert at Radio City Music Hall in New York City - 2003

      by LilithGardener on Wed Mar 06, 2013 at 08:02:13 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  In the U.S.... (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        LilithGardener

        ...that is the rule in Catholic schools and churches. There must always be two adults working with a group of children. No closed doors. No one on one interactions. No adults transporting kids in their own vehicles alone. And every adult--volunteers, priests, school administrators, teachers, secretaries, janitors, etc...must have a criminal background check and attend a workshop (every three years where I live) that teaches these safeguards and also discusses the signs of grooming and abuse and how to report.

        By contrast, in my state, teachers in public schools are only subject to background checks when getting their initial certification and support staff has no such requirement at all.

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