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View Diary: A View From the Swamp - So Tired (29 comments)

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  •  I'm not sure I'm together enough (2+ / 0-)
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    weck, FloridaSNMOM

    to consistently show up if I did volunteer someplace - and that has held me back.  I don't like to make commitments I am unable to keep.  The guilt creates a feedback spiral that just makes things worse and one of the reasons I'm here is to learn how to get past the constant beating myself up.

    I've offered to help with the yardwork - not qualified in Col Catlady's opinion.  Men do yardwork, not freaks.  Sometimes I am allowed to help at Bubbe's - depends on how my Mum feels about having company - she's pretty invested in her personal martyrdom to her own Mum.  We're a sick family and have been for generations.

    I think I would be okay with the cleaning if the mess making wasn't intentional.  The first few weeks I was here it wasn't like this.  It was just as she figured it out that my OCD could be used to her advantage that the intentional mess making began.

    And we sail and we sail and we never see land, just the rum in the bottle and a pipe in my hand...

    by Mortifyd on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 12:31:29 PM PST

    [ Parent ]

    •  You could help with a small garden at an agency (2+ / 0-)
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      Mortifyd, FloridaSNMOM

      or school.  Someplace public.  The nice thing about gardening is that it isn't as time sensitive as other activities, like meals.  Anyway, just start small, offer to put in a few geraniums and then check back once a week to pinch off the faded blooms.  Water when needed. Try not to let what they are thinking about you interfere with your little steps back to the boat.  Good luck.

      If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. & http://www.dailykos.com/blog/Okiciyap

      by weck on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 12:51:55 PM PST

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