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View Diary: Why Zerlina Maxwell Is Almost Right About Teaching Men Not to Rape (19 comments)

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  •  This is one reason (7+ / 0-)

    that I have found myself rethinking the line I heard again and again in college: that rape isn't about sex, but about power.

    It is unquestionably true that there is rape that is about power rather than sex -- but I think there is also rape that really is pretty much just about sex.  Not about wanting to put the victim in her place, not about wanting to feel strong and in control and dominant ... just about wanting sex, and not caring all that much what anybody else wants or doesn't want.

    And insisting that rape is about power is a message to guys that if they're not motivated by the power trip, they're not committing rape.

    In short, I agree with you completely: men and women both need to be taught what rape actually is.

    •  The thing is (3+ / 0-)
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      blue muon, irishwitch, 207wickedgood could argue that men who think that they are not motivated by a power trip but still rape women know as much about power as they do about rape. Men like this rape women not because they want power but because they believe they have the right to do so, which is an issue of power.

      Time is of no account with great thoughts, which are as fresh to-day as when they first passed through their authors' minds ages ago. - Samuel Smiles

      by moviemeister76 on Tue Mar 12, 2013 at 02:07:27 PM PDT

      [ Parent ]

      •  You could certainly argue that. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        But I think there may be value in focusing more on men's conscious motivations rather than what may or may not be their deeper motivations, in order to bring their focus to what they're doing.

        If you tell a guy "The real problem here is that you're on a power trip and you think you can do whatever you want because she's only a woman," he can very easily refute you with "Nuh uh" -- which he believes to be the truth -- and dismiss you entirely.  If you tell a guy "Look, it doesn't matter why you do it or what you want out of it, if she doesn't want to and you don't lay off then it's rape," you may stand a better chance of reaching him.

        And the truth is, it really doesn't matter why he's doing it or what he wants out of it.  Rape is rape.

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