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View Diary: The Effect of Uncivil Comments (17 comments)

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  •  As do I, though I find my patience -- (3+ / 0-)
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    Onomastic, grover, Joy of Fishes

    which is legendary among my friends -- often snaps here at those who are needlessly unkind.

    I know someone who is generally mean-spirited, and chooses to be so.  I once asked why be mean when it takes so much less energy to be kind?  (I left my moral objections out of it.)

    "Because I'm good at it," replied this person.

    I was flummoxed.  I guess there's stuff about some people I'll just never understand.  But I do know this: when I was in second grade, and noticed some of my friends becoming catty and cliquish, I removed myself from that group.

    I feel the same today.  It's not something I want to be around, at all.  And yes, it does keep me away from the site, or at least from reading the comments in a diary -- which to my mind are often as informative as the diary itself.  To me, if you don't read the comments, you're not getting the full picture.

    But here, lately more than ever, it's so unpleasant and depressing I just back away slowly and close the tab.

    "Throwing a knuckleball for a strike is like throwing a butterfly with hiccups across the street into your neighbor's mailbox." -- Willie Stargell

    by Yasuragi on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 05:10:08 PM PDT

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    •  Yup. (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Joy of Fishes, Yasuragi
      But here,lately more than ever, it's so unpleasant and depressing I just back away slowly and close the tab.

      © grover


      So if you get hit by a bus tonight, would you be satisfied with how you spent today, your last day on earth? Live like tomorrow is never guaranteed, because it's not. -- Me.

      by grover on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 05:22:13 PM PDT

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      •  Me too, but on good days, (3+ / 0-)
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        Joy of Fishes, grover, Yasuragi

        that is, when I'm on my game, I find the ranters and meanies are good training for my patience.  They always challenge me to try and find a way to reply with kindness and at least respect.  

        Certainly, the best progressive arguments are undermined by incivility.        to paraphrase Jesus, " what good does it do to win an argument if in the process your lose your self."

        grover I agree that there is a living, breathing, vulnerable, imperfect, probably hurting human being behind the rudest statements.   They will finally judge us progressives by our love..... and I don't mean a sentimental emotion, I mean an intentional choice to treat the other as we would want to be treated.

        It has been a universal experience that any time I've explored behind the meaning of someone I have found a person in pain of some sort.  Anger is really unresolved pain.

        I also have observed from experience that for "every action there is an equal an opposite reaction."  Translated if you return meaning for meaning you get more meanness.   It's like electricity, to takes two poles to keep up the potential.  You may introduce your meanness to me and that is your fault, but if it continues it is also my fault.

        If I get hooked on someone's meanness the I have surrendered the power over my own function and handed to the other.    I try not to let some mean one determine how I choose to function.  I choose to return that power unto myself.

        Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

        Anyone who isn't confused doesn't really understand the situation. - Edward R Murrow

        by gc10 on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 05:48:46 PM PDT

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    •  Yasuragi I challenge you (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Yasuragi

      to stay plugged in here.   You seem like a very level headed and thoughtful person.  The site needs you.  

      More importantly, and this is the challenge, it gives you the opportunity, when encountering the rude and mean, to work on retaining your power, not letting them take your "stuff," your "Mojo."   If you get what I saying.

      Besides,  I sometimes feel lonely here too  ;)

      Anyone who isn't confused doesn't really understand the situation. - Edward R Murrow

      by gc10 on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 05:56:45 PM PDT

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      •  Thanks, gc. Like a few others here, (0+ / 0-)

        I refuse to be driven out by those who speak with an uncivil tongue.  You can always find me lurking somewhere.  ;)

        And I couldn't agree with you more.

        "Throwing a knuckleball for a strike is like throwing a butterfly with hiccups across the street into your neighbor's mailbox." -- Willie Stargell

        by Yasuragi on Mon Mar 18, 2013 at 07:00:11 PM PDT

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